Man Making Fiancée's Family Uncomfortable Over Death of His Parents Praised

The internet has backed a man who made his fiancee's family uncomfortable at his engagement party by answering their "bullying" comments in a "rude" way.

In a post shared on Reddit in December, Bowie—who goes by the username u/Full_Pineapple990—explained that he met his fiancee, Jessie, in college. After six years of dating, her family, who he usually likes a lot, made some snarky comments about his name, and his reaction made them uncomfortable.

Things "took a major turn" at an engagement party the family threw for Bowie, 25, and Jessie, 24, Bowie said.

"My name became such a big topic of conversation. So I hear them talk about how silly it is for a grown man to be named Bowie, and surely my real name is Beau/Bowen and Bowie is just a nickname, and how crazy and cruel were parents to saddle a man with a juvenile name like Bowie.

"Then one of Jessie's aunts asked me if I would be using a different, more mature, and masculine name, in our marriage and I said of course not because it would not be my name."

After the conversation, he also got a bunch of questions from that aunt as well as Jessie's parents, asking if he didn't feel strange about a name his parents probably picked as a "cute name for a baby but not a grown man."

"That's when I said they'd need to head to the grave and ask my parents, seeing as I could not speak for their thought process and how it might not be easy to get an answer, with them being in the ground for 25 and 12.5 years respectively but I'm sure my dead parents would love to hear their criticisms of my name," he said.

While Jessie stood up for him and called out her family for their uncomfortable questions, her parents believe Bowie was "rude and had clearly enjoyed playing dumb," and that he should apologize for making them uncomfortable.

Bowie explained in the post that he had been just 5 months old when his father died following a work accident. When he was 12, his mother died suddenly and he had spent the rest of his childhood in foster care.

Soula Hareas, a licensed mental health counselor at McNulty Counseling and Wellness in Florida, told Newsweek that Bowie's answer was definitely not ruder than the question.

"There are a couple of issues here worth nothing. The first is that her parents don't seem to have much respect for the fact this poor guy's deceased parents or the guy himself. If they did they would approach any topic concerning them with a lot more sensitivity. This name has special meaning and significance to their son and was something that he can always have of them even though they are gone," she said.

"The second issue here are boundaries", she continued, saying that if the parents have no issue with being disrespectful to the dead, then they probably will continue to push their boundaries in other areas as well the longer this couple stays together.

"Think about how we hear stories of parents wanting to dictate the name of their grandchildren - we haven't even gotten that far with these two- they are trying so way worse than that in this situation. If the boyfriend and his girlfriend give in to this there is no telling where this disrespect of boundaries could lead to."

According to Hareas, this could be the beginning of dictating where they live, what jobs they have, where they spend their holidays and free time, and how they raise their children.

"The couple should be praised for sticking to this boundary with solidarity. They will thank themselves in the future. It's not an easy thing to create a boundary as an adult child where none existed in the past. This could lead to the parents guilting and manipulating their daughter and trying to cause issues in her relationship," she added.

According to research by YouGov, most Americans are fond of the names their parents chose for them. Three in five say they like their first name either a lot (41 percent) or somewhat (19 percent). Far fewer say they dislike it a lot (6 percent) or somewhat (9 percent).

The post, shared on the r/AmItheA****** subreddit, quickly went viral, receiving over 7,100 upvotes and 882 comments so far, and most commenters backed Bowie.

One user, SnooDoughnuts4691, commented: "[Not The A******] - Well played OP. You took an extremely upsetting and insensitive situation brought on by your future in-laws' family and served them each a full helping of crow to chow down on. I applaud your efforts. Well done indeed. No apology necessary from you."

And BringBackBowie added: "Exactly! The in-laws are simply upset because they didn't get the reaction they wanted from their bullying. [For Yor Information]: your name is awesome OP. Hands down my favorite. [Not The A******]."

Another user, Calm_Inky said: "[Not The A******] - The audacity to suggest someone should change their first name!" And waking_bliss wrote: "[Not The A******]. Jessie sounds like a gem and I'm so glad she stood up for you. Her family sucks. Bowie is a dope name and I'm honestly kinda jealous!"

Newsweek reached out to u/Full_Pineapple990 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.