Woman Refusing to Take in Evicted Stepbrother and Family Applauded Online

A woman refusing to take in her stepbrother and his family after they were evicted has been backed for taking a tough stance after detailing the bullying she suffered at his hands growing up.

In a post shared to Reddit, the homeowner wrote about the trauma she experienced as a child after her mom got remarried when she was just 10.

Soon, she was living alongside a new stepfather, Nick, as well as a stepbrother, Ben, and it was far from a happy experience for her.

According to the Pew Research Center, 16 percent of children in America are living as part of a blended family, meaning a household with either a stepparent, stepsiblings or half-sibling.

This mix can lead to a happy and harmonious household but, in the case of this Redditor, it did not.

"There were pictures of my mother, Nick, and Ben all over the house but none of me. They found any excuse to have 'family time' without me," the original poster wrote.

"My mother told me once that it was hard for her to love me and look at me because I looked so much like my father."

While the Redditor says her mom and stepdad often commented that she would turn out to be a "failure/embarrassment" like her father. "Ben was extremely cruel to me and my mother," the poster wrote.

In reviewing the post, counseling psychologist Dr. Mari Kovanen told Newsweek it was likely that the Redditor experienced what is clinically known as "attachment trauma."

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"When one's mother who is there to protect and offer comfort fails to do so, it creates a very complex set of feelings," Kovanen said. "When this is then combined with another type of unprocessed childhood trauma, any trigger brings up all old feelings back like it all happened yesterday."

For this particular woman, that trigger came the day she was contacted by her stepbrother who got in touch on social media with a desperate plea for help.

According to the post, while she received little support from her mom, her paternal grandparents were there for her "unconditionally" and helped her get through college.

After graduation, she moved in with them and, following their passing, inherited their three-bedroom home. In the years that followed, she repeatedly tried to talk to Ben about his behavior, but he took "no accountability," telling her "that was ages ago."

For Dr. Kovanen, this response effectively shut down any chance to heal the wounds created by what happened in the past.

She told Newsweek that saying: "It's in the past" is only an effective response "when traumatic events and experiences have been reprocessed.

"Repair with family members can start to happen only if there is acknowledgment and a genuine apology for the events that took place," she added.

So, when he did get in touch, after two years of no contact, it's unsurprising that Ben's plea for help fell on deaf ears. He said he was being evicted, and his family, including a six-year-old daughter, had "practically nowhere" to go.

Despite this, the poster refused to let them move in telling him she "didn't feel comfortable" living with him after what he put her through as a child. Though he again said "that was in the past," she told him the answer was still "no."

While the presence of her stepbrother's daughter has left the woman feeling conflicted, many online felt she was right to say no.

Happytallperson wrote: "Not wanting to share your home with someone who makes you uncomfortable is a valid reason." Bleugirl2 commented that, for things to change, the stepbrother needed to show "he's worked through and acknowledged bullying."

SnapsGrayUnderpants commented: "He has zero respect for your feelings and would have zero respect for your boundaries," while Variant-EC96 wrote: "The fact that he refuses to acknowledge any wrongdoing says it all."

Kovanen said it was "understandable" she would be reluctant to help someone who "played a part in causing traumatic experiences and then downplayed their impact."

"They need to protect themselves from further harm," Kovanensaid. "If the family moved in without any attempts of genuine repair from the stepbrother's side, it would be for the original writer as if they were living in their past trauma every day."

Newsweek reached out to u/AITAthrowawayben for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.