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Members of a popular internet forum advised one mother to proceed with extreme caution after she explained why her children were left off her upcoming wedding's guest list.
In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/Status-Anonymous (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said her soon-to-be husband wants a child-free wedding and described her shock upon learning that ban included both of her daughters.
Titled, "[Am I the a**hole] for insisting on having my daughters at my wedding despite my fiancé's disapproval?" the since-removed post has received nearly 7,500 upvotes and 3,000 comments in the last six hours.
"Before I...met my fiancé Robin...I was a single mom," OP began. "Robin then came around and he absolutely adored them [from] the day he met them."
Continuing to explain that her wedding is just around the corner, the original poster said she was aware of Robin's desire for a kid-free ceremony and reception, but thought there would be an exception for her 14- and 12-year-old daughters.
But after purchasing dresses for both girls to wear to the wedding, the original poster also said she was informed neither of her children would be welcome on her big day.
"I noticed something was wrong so I asked and he told me that my daughters are also included in the 'no children' rule," OP wrote. "I told him those are my kids and [their] mom is getting married [so] of course they will want to attend.
"He said that if his family finds out there's gonna be a problem and they'll accuse him of being a doormat and playing favorites between them and me," OP continued. "I said that was unacceptable and that no matter what the rules are, my daughters are always an exception, they're my daughters!
"He insisted that they 'stay home' with a babysitter...[and] he blew up and said that I have no respect for him," OP added. "[Now] he has gone quiet not only towards me but grew distance from the girls...they are now wondering why their dad (they call him dad) isn't speaking to them."
Kid-free weddings, much like fantasy football and Olivia Wilde's "Don't Worry Darling," are one of the most hotly-debated topics on the internet.
Across forums like WeddingWire and WeddingBee, as well as outlets including The Knot, Glamour and BuzzFeed, the conversation surrounding childless weddings is contentious and controversial.
While a large portion of couples and guests have come to the agreement that a celebration sans children is perfectly acceptable and allows adults to let all the way loose, there is a faction of parents who believe any such request is insulting.
"If you love and trust the people you're inviting to your wedding, then love and trust that they will make the best decision for you on your big day," Today's Parent contributor Karen Pinchin wrote in 2019.
"By explicitly saying 'adults only' or 'no kids,' these invitations are dictating terms, taking guests' best judgment out of the matter entirely," Pinchin added.
Diminishing a guest's judgment, however, is much different than a soon-to-be husband dictating terms to his soon-to-be wife about her children and the fact that they are banned from their mother's wedding.
Redditor Reactions
Throughout the comment section of the viral Reddit post, Redditors were outraged by the notion that the original poster's daughters would be prohibited from attending the wedding and advised OP to reevaluate her relationship before taking another step toward marriage.
"There should be no discussion or arguments as to whether they should be in attendance," Redditor u/Hakuna-Matata-Rafiki wrote in the post's top comment, which has received nearly 11,000 upvotes. "They should absolutely be in attendance for this moment.
"Your fiancé is not only punishing you, but he is punishing your daughters with the silent treatment and cold shoulder," they continued. "This won't change after you marry him. If he treats them this way now, imagine what this means for his relationship with them in the future."
Redditor u/Pinkie_Flamingo, whose comment has received more than 4,000 upvotes, offered a more pointed response.
"Frankly, this feels off to me to the point that I recommend you cancel the wedding and seek couple's counseling," they wrote. "To exclude your daughters on this occasion...seems like a maneuver to marginalize the girls.
"This marriage has to be healthy for the girls as well as for you, or else you should not enter it," they advised.
A separate comment, which has received nearly 4,000 upvotes, echoed that sentiment.
"So you're saying your fiancé is now treating your daughters poorly because he's angry with you?" they questioned. "I beg you to take some time to consider what that will mean for your daughters in the future."
Newsweek reached out to u/Status-Anonymous for comment.
About the writer
Taylor McCloud is a Newsweek staff writer based in California. His focus is reporting on trending and viral topics. Taylor ... Read more