Man Supported for Berating Brother Over 'Cruel' Gift to 'Grieving' Wife

In a now-viral post, a man said he berated his brother at a family gathering over a "cruel" birthday gift presented to his "grieving" wife.

Posting in Reddit's "Am I The A**hole" (AITA) forum under the username u/AITA123Throw, the man wrote: "AITA for calling my brother an 'inconsiderate, insecure, pompous d**k?'" The post has received 7,700 upvotes and hundreds of comments slamming the man's "disgusting" brother.

In his post, the man said he and his wife lost their 3-year-old son about one year ago.

"His death was sudden and there is not a day that goes by where I don't grieve him. There will never come a day, hour, minute or second I'll stop loving or thinking about my son," u/AITA123Throw said.

Sudden Unexplained Death

According to the National Institutes of Health (NIH), roughly 1,800 children die in the U.S. each year from sudden, unexplained causes.

"When it happens in children under 1 year of age, it's called sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS)," NIH explained. "In children 1 year of age or older, it's called sudden unexplained death in children (SUDC)."

Deborah Carr, Ph.D., chair of the sociology department at Boston University, told Fatherly that the death of a child is "considered the single worst stressor a person can go through," and the trauma associated with it is often far more intense than that of "classic grief."

"The first year after losing a younger child, a parent is at an increased risk for suicide and everything from major depression to complicated grief," Dr. Gail Saltz, a psychiatrist at the New York Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell School of Medicine, told Fatherly.

Saltz explained that "complicated grief" differs from "normal grief" in "there are more intense symptoms, alternating with seemingly no symptoms—a numbness—which potentially impairs their ability to function."

'AITA'

To deal with their grief, u/AITA123Throw said he and his wife started going to couples therapy.

"In my family, talking about a dead child makes people uncomfortable and is almost treated as taboo...[they believe] that we are going to couples counseling because our marriage is failing or my wife isn't 'satisfying me enough,'" he said, adding that this "couldn't be further from the truth."

In honor of his wife's birthday, u/AITA123's sister-in-law recently invited the couple over for a family dinner, and she promised there'd be no "drama and/or unnecessary comments." Unfortunately, u/AITA123's brother didn't get the memo.

"Near the end, a few people gave my wife small gifts. We were planning to open them at home and react privately but my brother was very adamant about seeing my wife's reaction to his gift...Nothing could have prepared me for his present," u/AITA123Throw wrote.

"He gave her a baby's romper meant for a newborn boy and an expensive set of lingerie...he laughed and said that it was to 'motivate her to bring a spark back into the marriage,'" u/AITA123Throw continued.

As he left the party, u/AITA123Throw said the gift was "incredibly inappropriate" and called his brother an "inconsiderate, insecure, pompous d**k."

Redditors React

Redditors said u/AITA123Throw was right to call out his brother, and some argued that his brother deserved much more than u/AITA123Throw's "tame" insult.

"NTA [not the a**hole]. You were incredibly tame in your response. I would've read him to filth, drag queen style," u/CrystalQueen3000 said.

"Your brother is a disgusting creep," u/bad_roboat. "What you said was mild compared to what he deserved," u/bad_roboat wrote.

"NTA. That was an unimaginably cruel and creepy gift (who wants lingerie from their brother-in-law??). I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope [you] and your wife thrive far, far away from your brother," u/cassowary32 commented.

Redditor u/vercingetafix added: "NTA—What a disgusting present to get your sister-in-law, least of all one who is actively grieving. I mean what the f**k."

Newsweek reached out to u/AITA123Throw for comment.

Other Viral Posts

Last week, Redditors praised a man who defended his wife after she cursed out his mother.

Earlier this month, online commenters applauded a man who made his brother cry at his niece's birthday party.

And last month, a man received support for blowing up at his partner's pregnancy announcement.