Man Telling Wife Juggling Work and Childcare to Tidy Up More Slammed

A man has been slammed for telling his wife that the mess in their home could be solved if she "picked up after herself."

In a post on Reddit, user u/Distinct_Papaya_8608 explained the argument that he and his wife had become engaged in.

"My wife and I both work 4 days a week. I work 12-hour shifts and she works 8-hour shifts. She would work more, but our 1-year-old daughter needs to be picked up from daycare," he wrote. "I leave for work before they wake up and some days get home after our daughter has gone to bed."

This week, the daycare provider was sick, and so his wife was forced to take the week off work to care for their daughter. To make up for lost income, the Redditor explained that he worked an extra day.

However, despite thinking he had solved any issues, his wife was not happy.

Young mom and founder of AnnaRose Fit & Healthy, AnnaRose Mongiello-Ciminera told Newsweek: "Arguments between couples, especially ones with children are very frequent. Tensions are high for all. I would say it happens, at minimum, twice per week."

The Redditor wrote: "She seemed stressed still, so I asked her what was wrong. She broke down, saying that she is struggling with balancing work, caring for our daughter throughout the week, and keeping our house clean, cooking, etc.

"I responded calmly by saying that I can't miss work or reduce hours. We simply cannot afford it."

His wife said that she understood this but was still feeling overwhelmed by the household chores and childcare.

"I told her 90 percent of the problems with messiness could be solved if she picked up after herself. If she just put the used butter knives in the sink after she was done, and rinsed bottles, cookware, etc. I will happily do the dishes when I get home from work," the poster wrote. "Hell, I'll even put them away after. But I do not want to play scavenger hunt and look around the house for things to wash."

However, his wife was not pleased with this solution and simply walked away to go and care for their daughter. When he vented to his co-worker about the situation, he did not expect the response he got.

"He says I was being an a**hole because I didn't even listen to what she wanted. I feel like I was perfectly reasonable," the Redditor wrote.

In more than 3,200 comments, though, other Reddit users criticized the man for his actions.

"Clearly it's about a lot more than a damn butter knife in the wrong place. How 90 percent of her problems are her own fault is stupid," read one reply. "I bet 99 percent that she carries the entire mental load of the household. And has baby brain."

"Exactly," agreed another commenter. "She has 3 jobs. Childcare, [maintaining the] household and her actual job."

Another Redditor wrote: "So your wife is overwhelmed and exhausted with a one-year-old and you say it would all be okay if she just picked up after herself. Are you kidding me?"

For parents struggling with how to manage arguments like this, Mongiello-Ciminera advised: "The way I would suggest to 'keep it balanced' is by sitting down in the evening, once the kids are put to bed, as exposing them to any high tensions isn't good for their little growing minds and bodies.

"Once your day is done, sit down with your loved one and discuss what is causing you to feel stressed, and perhaps write down the tasks and split them up, according to who does it and what time."