Mom Defends Decision Not To Buy Her Daughter Christmas Presents

A mom-of-two is bucking the trend for spending over the festive holidays by not buying her daughter any presents for her first Christmas.

"It's just not realistic for most people to be going out and spending hundreds on a random day just because," Tiffany Chesson told Newsweek. Chesson has a five-year-old son and her daughter will be five months old when Christmas arrives. While her eldest will receive the usual array of presents, albeit with Chesson's modest budget in mind, she decided that her youngest would be fine without.

"There's so much stuff marketed as 'essential' and it's overwhelming for new moms who don't realize that babies actually need very little and it can be so easy to find yourself in debt because you've been trying to keep pace," she said.

Currently on maternity leave from her job as a customer experience director for a leading tech company, she rejoined TikTok during her pregnancy and has been documenting the challenges of motherhood there ever since. In recent months, with Christmas approaching, she started to notice an increase in the number of videos on the platform seemingly encouraging spending over the holidays.

"I was really surprised by the fact that almost every other video you see is either someone doing a haul of things they've bought or someone trying to sell you something," Chesson said.

As a parent who mixes with other moms and dads both in real life and on social media, she's seen firsthand how these expensive gifts can often be poorly received.

"I've become more aware of the rise of these extravagant gifts and parties and events for kids who do not appreciate them, either because they're too young or just don't comprehend the money that goes into it," she said.

Though she acknowledges that it's every parent's prerogative to decide what they buy for their child, Chesson believes the spending culture creates a "pressure for other people to keep up with."

And while Christmas might be a time for giving, right now it's giving parents everywhere cause for concern. According to a recent Gallup poll, Americans will spend an average of $925 on Christmas gifts this year. That figure represents an increase of more than $100 on last year's predictions and comes as part of a wider trend of rising spending around the festive season.

That increased consumerism should be a cause for concern among parents, according to Maria Kalpidou. The psychology professor at Assumption University in Massachusetts, who focuses on children's happiness, told Newsweek: "In studies with children and adolescents, consumerism has been linked to lower self-esteem, increased depression, anxiety, and psychosomatic problems, as well as negative attitudes toward parents. These seem to be more pronounced in young children who by nature are easily excitable and have a hard time regulating emotions."

"Children as young as 6 years of age will tell you that a child who has expensive toys is happier than a child with less expensive toys," Kalpidou added. "However, research also supports a negative correlation between materialism and life satisfaction."

As the mom of a newborn currently surviving on statutory maternity pay before she returns to work, Chesson, from Kent in England, has also grown concerned at how much pregnant women and new moms are targeted by companies.

"There's so much stuff marketed as 'essential' and it's overwhelming for new mums who don't realize that babies actually need very little and it can be so easy to find yourself in debt because you've been trying to keep pace," she said.

That's why this year, she took the bold decision to abstain from buying her newborn daughter any Christmas gifts. In any case, she knew her parents and countless other relatives would give her gifts.

Eager to send a message to other parents, Chesson took to TikTok, posting a video explaining why she had decided not to get her daughter a gift for her first Christmas. "There is literally no point in buying her a Christmas present," she said. "I don't have the money to buy her a Christmas present—I'm on maternity pay."

The video blew up, amassing 475,000 views and counting with people coming out in support of the approach. "I wish I wasn't bullied into buying mine Christmas presents on their first Christmas, they were two months and then my second was one month, made zero sense," one wrote with another commenting: "My mom to this day says she regrets buying me Christmas presents for my first and second Christmas."

Others were adopting a similar approach. "Christmas isn't gonna be big in my home until they're old enough to remember Christmas," one user said while another suggested: "I wrapped up some clothes for the next size and a teddy...for my youngest who was 5 months at Christmas, purely for the eldest child."

There were still naysayers though, with one TikToker branding Chesson "miserable" over her approach while another called her actions "disgusting" and a third branded her a "bad mom."

"Who cares how old your baby is!" they wrote. "It's wrong to not get baby a few things. my son was seven months old he got presents his first Christmas."

For the most part though she's been heartened by the positive response to her posting. "I had anticipated more backlash to be honest with people saying I'm awful," Chesson said. "It really resonated with a lot of people who are either in the same sort of position of not wanting or being able to spend so much this year, or people who did spend historically and now regret it."

Ultimately, she encourages others to adopt a more frugal approach to the festive season. "I just wanted to bring a bit of normalcy and remind people that it's not necessary to spend a fortune on babies for Christmas," she said.

Chesson's focus may primarily be on babies, but taking a similar approach with kids of all ages is one Professor Kalpidou believes will stand parents in good stead.

"Parents who reduce or eliminate Christmas presents are right to be worried about missing the true spirit of Christmas. But they are encouraged to consider how they model responsible spending habits by exhibiting responsible financial practices, such as budgeting, saving, and prioritizing needs over wants," she said.

"I would encourage the parents to consider replacing the material possessions with experiences that bring the family together and build close relationships with others which is a true source of subjective happiness."

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