Mom Defended for Telling Overbearing Sister To Adopt Children 'Of Her Own'

Internet commenters were shocked after one mother revealed how her childless sister's manipulative and overstepping behavior resulted in accusations of cruelty and family fights.

In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/Vivid_Monitor_8399 (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said her sister moved in with her and her children last year but explained how the once-harmonious living arrangement turned sour over time.

Titled, "[Am I the a**hole] for telling my sister to adopt kids if she wants them so much?" the post has received nearly 7,000 upvotes and 800 comments in the last 11 hours.

"My (35F) sister Hannah (28F)....went through a horrible divorce in 2021 and lost her home," OP began. "I am a single mother of 2 girls...[and] we had more than enough space for one person so we were happy to have her."

Continuing to explain that her sister helped with housework and various bills, the original poster said she also took up the role of babysitter, which saved the family a substantial amount of money. However, the original poster also said that the babysitter role quickly grew into something unfamiliar, to the point where intervention was necessary.

"She started introducing my kids as hers," OP explained. "I talked to her about it...she stopped but only for a while until I [learned] my new neighbors think she's my kids' mom.

"I was floored yesterday when my youngest called her mommy in my presence," OP continued. "When I was helping my eldest with homework, she told me her sister only calls Hannah mommy because Hannah told them to call her that in public.

"I confronted her immediately and her response [was] along the lines of 'you should be happy I treat them well enough for them to see me as a second mother,'" OP wrote. "I told her if she wants kids so much she should adopt some of her own. I admit this was mean because she can't have kids...but I also feel she needed to hear this."

Uncles and aunts, like grandparents and other close family members, often play an instrumental role in the upbringing of children. But while a parent's sibling can serve as a role model and confidant outside of the immediate family, there remains a need for boundaries.

Despite the mental health benefits associated with boundary-setting, informing a family member they've crossed the line is easier said than done. In 2019, psychologist and Psychology Today contributor Rachel Zoffness provided a series of steps struggling individuals can take to put healthy space between themselves and their relatives.

Included within those steps are a myriad of recommendations, including prioritizing time alone, understanding what triggers certain anxieties and creating a list of coping strategies for specific situations.

When all else fails, Zoffness also recommended that individuals practice saying no—and actually meaning it.

"A 'soft no' leaves room for a potential 'yes' in the future...'hard no's' are firm and finite," Zoffness asserted. "Setting limits not only makes you feel stronger...it communicates to others that you know your needs and aren't scared to state them."

On numerous occasions, the original poster recounted instances in which she did tell her sister "no" in regards to her blatant encroachment as a perceived "second mother," all the way up until the heated interaction that inspired the viral Reddit post.

Throughout the viral post's comment section, Redditors commended the original poster for standing firm against her sister, but advised her to eradicate the issue once and for all.

"[Not the a**hole]," Redditor u/cheechie64 wrote in the post's top comment, which has received more than 12,000 upvotes. "Nip it in the bud now [because] "Aunt Hannah" is acting weird [as f**k]."

"She has crossed a line and clearly [thinks] she has done absolutely nothing wrong," Redditor u/anglerfishtacos added, receiving nearly 3,000 upvotes. "Get her out."

Redditor u/jadepumpkin1984, whose comment has received more than 3,000 upvotes, echoed that sentiment.

"[Not the a**hole]," they wrote. "And kick her OUT."

"You have to put an end to this situation as soon as possible," Redditor u/sunrise_library chimed in, receiving more than 1,000 upvotes. "Your sister has some big problems that you can't fix."

Newsweek reached out to u/Vivid_Monitor_8399 for comment.