Mom Ensuring Ex-Husband's Affair Child Has 'Lackluster' Birthday Cheered

Internet users have backed a woman's decision not to buy her ex-husband's daughter a birthday gift, even though it may leave her with no presents at all.

Reddit user u/ShoeStunning8463 took to the AITA (Am I The A******?) thread to explain why she was "refusing to buy" a birthday present for her ex-husband's daughter, who she has no relationship with.

The viral post, which has since been deleted, details how the ex-husband cheated on the Redditor while she was pregnant, and now has two daughters from the two different women, born just months apart.

The post reads: "To say things between us have been tense is an understatement. Ex's wife didn't know immediately that he was with me, or that we had been together since we were 15. She hated me for overshadowing her own pregnancy with mine."

The anger between the separate families only grew worse, as the new wife wanted the Reddit poster to give up her daughter "for them to raise both girls together as real sisters." After refusing to do such a thing, the daughters grew up resenting one another's families, and they now also have "a very high conflict relationship," according to the Reddit post.

"Ex's daughter has picked up her mom's attitude toward me and dislikes me and believes I keep her sister from her real family, and my daughter doesn't like my ex's wife, which annoys her half-sister," the post continues.

The strained relationship has grown even worse recently as the ex and his new wife are going through financial problems and can't afford to spend a lot on their daughter's birthday. Knowing that the Reddit user bought her daughter a gaming laptop for her birthday in June, the ex-husband asked her to get a gift for his daughter's birthday in October, which she's never done previously.

"He said the money situation is still tight and he doesn't want her to get nothing," the post continues. "I told him I would not be buying her a gift and he blew up the app and my phone, saying I should be doing this so his daughter isn't left with a lackluster birthday.

"Ex said I had never done anything to help the dynamic with the girls, and never cared about the pain he and his wife were in, and this was one thing I could do."

While the Redditor has taken a firm stance, the ex-husband's demands also haven't pleased forensic psychiatrist, Dr. Carole Lieberman. As someone who analyzes the psychological impact of decisions, Lieberman believes the request is only adding insult to injury after cheating on the poster years prior.

She told Newsweek: "The ex-wife should be happy she's done with this man. She is not obligated to buy any presents for that daughter, nor for his new wife, nor for him. It gives the wrong message to her own daughter, because it's as if she is accepting her ex-husband cheating on her when she was pregnant.

"At most, she could (not should) get two presents—exactly the same—and give them to her ex's daughter and to her own daughter."

Lieberman notes that her advice is an option, but not the necessary course of action. If the Redditor wishes to not get the daughter anything, then she has every right to stick with her decision.

Since the Reddit post was shared on September 27, it generated plenty of responses, with more than 8,100 votes and 1,300 comments before it was removed. Many Redditors are firmly on her side and insist that there's no need to buy a present.

One comment reads: "Your ex is delusional if he thinks seriously his daughter is somehow your responsibility."

Another Reddit user responded: "Next time he says you never cared about the pain he and his wife were in, tell him you'd care if only he had cared about the pain he and his wife put you through when he was cheating on you with her."

While another person wrote: "Do this man and his wife not have any family that can help them out? Why on Earth would they expect his ex-girlfriend to take care of their child? Utter craziness."

Newsweek reached out to u/ShoeStunning8463 via Reddit for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

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