Mom Furious With Husband for Not Wanting Their Baby in Bed Sparks Debate

A post about a husband questioning whether his wife wants their 5-month-old son to "get injured" by placing him on their bed has gone viral on Reddit.

In a post shared under the username Quirky_Addendum_2779 on Reddit's Am I The A**hole (AITA) subforum, the father said for the past two Tuesdays (which is when he is off work), his wife Macey has taken their son Leo out of his crib and put him on their bed next to him before she heads to work, "even though I'm sound asleep."

He said: "She doesn't do anything to wake me up because she's leaving for work, and Leo stops crying when she puts him in our bed. Luckily nothing bad has happened yet...but Leo crawls and I'm worried that he could fall out of the bed and hurt himself."

When he spoke to Macey about his concerns, the user said she allegedly accused him of being "a bad father for not noticing and waking up when Leo is in the bed, saying that if it was her, she'd notice and wake up."

The user said he "got angry" in response to Macey. Noting that "she's being unreasonable," he asked "what she thought would happen if Leo fell out of the bed" and "asked her if she wanted Leo to get injured."

According to research findings presented at the American Academy of Pediatrics in November 2018, accidents on sofas and beds were found to be the lead cause of injury in children aged 4 and younger and the lead cause of trauma for infants in the U.S.

An April 2018 study published in the Injury Epidemiology journal found that "pediatric unintentional falls are the leading cause of injury-related emergency visits" for kids less than 5 years old.

The same study also noted that "unintentional falls were the leading cause of nonfatal injury" among children 4 years old and younger from 2000 to 2015 in the U.S., according to a 2017 report by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

The father in the latest Reddit post said that whenever his wife gets ready for work, their son usually starts crying in his crib even after he's had his first feed of the day. "This doesn't wake me up unless he's been crying for a little while because I'm a heavy sleeper," he noted.

The husband, who works full time, said he "like[s] to take the opportunity to sleep in when I can get it" because he gets off work around 4 to 5 a.m. during the weekdays. "So I'm getting around 3 hours sleep when Macey goes to work" at around 8 a.m.

The user said: "Macey only works one day a week, we don't need her income and I make more money but she likes her job and I respect her choice to work. I work 70 hours a week and do my fair share of housework and cooking when I'm home so I sleep like the deceased when I'm in bed."

According to the husband, Macey allegedly "got really mad" following his comment and has gone to stay with her sister for a couple of days, along with their son. He said she hasn't answered his texts or calls and has yet to come home. "I've never seen Macey this angry with me before so I'm wondering if I was the AH [a**hole] for how I approached this."

The latest post sparked debate among Redditors, with many saying both parents were at fault in the situation.

In a comment that got over 10,000 upvotes, user serotoninwarrior said: "I'm going to go ahead and say ESH [everyone sucks here]." The user explained that they "agree that his wife should be waking him up when placing the baby in the bed" and that "placing him there is not a good idea." However, "sleeping in should not come before your child. Especially if the other parent is going to work and can't mind him."

In a comment that got 3,700 upvotes, user fatlittletoad agreed, stating: "She shouldn't put him in the bed with a sleeping adult, BUT That adult needs to wake up and care for the baby while his wife gets ready. He should already be doing this.

"OP [the original poster] is more TA [the a**hole] than wife, who is probably just stressed and feeling guilty about letting the baby cry, and making a poor decision because of it. OP, get your a** up and help."

Others were critical of the husband, such as RecommendationBrief9, who said: "You're a grown up. Act like one...get your a** out of bed when your kid obviously needs you...stop acting like her second and biggest child."

Some were understanding of the father, such as KayKueen who said: "He works 70hrs a week...He also does his fair share of housework when he's around and able to. The guy is probably exhausted."

Newsweek has contacted the original poster for comment.