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A mother has been encouraged to stand up to her "bully" son after revealing his behavior makes her feel "unwelcome" in her own home.
The mom, thought to be from the U.K, said her 30-year-old son treats her "extremely disrespectfully" and prevents her from carrying out her day-to-day activities because he takes over the kitchen, cooking, eating, drinking or doing laundry.
She said his possessions are all over her home but if she moves them "he is rude and sarcastic" and if she asks him to move them he "berates" her and refuses to move them until he wants to.
Taking to Mumsnet under the name CalmDownKaren, she wrote: "As much as I hate to say it he is surly, ignorant, rude and blatantly entitled. He no longer lives in our house but comes every day and makes me feel unwelcome in my own home."
She added: "If ever there is an argument with my son about the way he treats me, my husband will play middle man and half a**edly tell my son to be quiet before condescendingly telling me to sit down and relax.
"I'm sick to death of feeling like my husband won't have my back, because it gives the message to my son that it's ok to treat me this way. Am I being unreasonable in expecting this?"
The mother, who works full time, suspects her son comes over to their home so frequently because he rents a room in a shared house and is bored when he's not at work.
She said her husband rarely takes her side during conflicts with their son, which often leads to her feeling "like I am some kind of ogre" for voicing upset, adding her husband often refuses to apologize for wrongdoing.
"I voice my opinion because honestly I get so mad at the situation. My son will roll his eyes and say yeah whatever shut up or something similar," she said.
"I end up losing the plot as I've no back up, at which point my son will say 'Oh look she's being a victim and crying'. I feel helpless. My DH [Dear Husband] acts like he's sitting on the fence, telling me to shut up and telling my son to be quiet.
"From my perspective DH behavior gives my DS the impression that his Dad isn't in agreement. I feel alone in this. My son is here when I get up in the morning and is often still here when I go to bed. I've explained to my husband frequently that my house no longer feels like my own but DH seems content to carry on acting like our son's best mate rather than my partner."
The post, which can be read here, received over 100 comments from users, with one writing: "You're not being unreasonable, you do need to show a united front to stand up to your son who I'm sorry to say sounds like a bully."
Another said: "Change the locks. Tell him he is not welcome to come cook, wash laundry etc whilst he is behaving like an arrogant, spoiled, entitled brat. Rinse and repeat. your husband will never stick up for you—you have both a DH and a DS problem."
"Do you care if your son sees you as an ogre? He is bullying and belittling you, with your husband complicit (sounds like the apple hasn't fallen far from that particular tree)," wrote a third.
"Personally, I'd be telling my son to shape up, or ship out—if he can't behave respectfully towards you, get out, and don't come back until he can. And mean it. Better late than never."
About the writer
Monica Greep is a Newsweek Associate Editor, My Turn and is based in London, UK. Her focus is interviewing, writing and ... Read more