Anger as Mom Refuses to Pay for Stepkids to Go on 'Once in a Lifetime' Trip

A stepmom is courting controversy on social media after refusing to pay for her husband's kids to join them on a dream vacation.

The woman, who recently came into some money, was happy to pay for her own biological children to go on the trip, but told her partner to "start saving" if he wanted his kids to come.

Some romantically involved couples draw the line at sharing their finances, which can lead to conflict.

According to the 2015 American Psychological Association's Stress in America survey, 31 percent of adults with partners report that money is a major source of stress in their relationships—and one husband certainly appears to be facing a money-related headache if the account of events shared by his partner is to be believed.

Writing under the handle BananaFluff in a post shared to Mumsnet, his unhappy wife revealed that she recently inherited some money that she plans on using to take her kids on a "once in a lifetime kind of holiday."

However, she doesn't want to pay for her stepchildren to go and admitted she doesn't even want them to come on the trip as it "would change the vibe" given the age difference between her young kids and her husband's older children.

But when she mentioned this plan to her husband, he asked if he could bring his children along and even "offered to pay" as a way of getting around her refusal to stump up the cash.

She "begrudgingly" said yes, but now thinks her husband should be paying more towards the trip. They share one child together.

The situation drew concern from one leading expert, though he suspected an agreement of sorts may be in place between the couple.

Ron Deal, a therapist, podcaster, and co-author of The Smart Stepfamily Guide to Financial Planning, told Newsweek: "How money is used within a blended family communicates love, how important new family members are, who has buying power (and who doesn't), and the boundaries around who is considered in the family and who is out.

"In general, generosity by a stepparent toward stepchildren, for example, communicates inclusion in the family and a commitment to care for them. Financial kindness is a good investment in the family's developing identity."

Family Harmony

While Deal acknowledged there may be a situation in place that "necessitates that money be used for only a few, it's best for family harmony to share." He also felt the woman should be considering the problem from a position of "what is equitable instead of equal."

Deal explained: "Equal would demand that this mother share the inheritance with her stepchildren or that her husband pay half the cost of their mutual children. But equitable might mean the mother goes on a special trip with her kids today and tomorrow helps to finance a special interest trip for one of her stepchildren that is of great interest to them.

"Being equitable means using money to provide love to all family members in ways that are meaningful to them, communicating worth and value to each child, and acting in ways that demonstrate commitment to the marriage and family."

The reaction on social media was less diplomatic. SwedishEdith slammed the woman's approach, writing: "It's extra money. Just pay for the holiday and stop overthinking who should pay for what." QuiteLikeIt, meanwhile, commented: "If you were stepparent to my children and showed such disregard for them I would not want you in my life let alone on a holiday."

WhenDovesFly was similarly scathing, saying: "Imagine if your husband got a small inheritance and said 'let's save it and treat our shared DC to a once in a lifetime holiday'," they said, "Then he says, 'start saving because you've got to pay half.'"

Theydontspeakforus added: "If you and your husband ever break up, imagine someone else thinking like that about your children."

Newsweek was unable to contact Bananafluff to verify the details of the case.