Mom-of-Two Raging Over Husband's Relative Outstaying Welcome Backed Online

The internet has backed a woman complaining about a family member coming to stay several times a year, leaving her feeling "resentful."

Hosting guests isn't always easy, from franticly getting the house ready to organizing your time to accommodate your friend or family member. Bed company The Sleep Judge asked 500 people who had recently hosted guests about their experiences.

Hosts reported spending 4.5 hours cleaning before their guests arrived, while on average, those hosting overnight guests said they would want them to stay for a maximum of two or three nights.

When it comes to the things that upset hosts the most, smoking indoors without permission was the number one complaint, followed by taking a host's belongings and having sex in a host's bed.

With over a hundred responses, the Mumsnet user shared her concerns and wrote: "We've got two children, aged 8 and 5, both of us work full time and never had free childcare or any help. [We] moved to a bigger house in the last couple of years. I'm also a people pleaser, so my social compass is totally shrewd, hence this post."

She explained that since the family moved to the larger house, a family member had been coming to stay several times a year. "Which on paper should be ok," wrote the poster. "But I am growing more and more resentful."

The mom explained that the family member last came to stay in July when she stayed for two weeks and spent time with other family members and went out, while the mom and her husband continued to work and the kids went to a summer club. She explained that they wanted to come over again at the end of August and that the family member had stayed so far this year for a total of six weeks already.

"They could stay with another family member, but they won't," said the mom. "I suspect they wouldn't get catered the same way. They cooked once when they stayed last time. The time before they looked after our children one evening. I don't like asking for help so I end up exhausted most of the time."

Feeling as though her energy should be aimed toward her children, she explained: "I feel guilty that they are not getting my full attention. Guest is polite enough but our standards around housekeeping are different, for instance, if I drink a coffee I'll take my mug to the kitchen and don't just leave it."

Alongside worries and frustration around the house guest, she also shared how her son's behavior is currently challenging.

"[We are] currently trying to assess if he's on the autistic spectrum. I am really worried," wrote the mom, before asking: "Please share thoughts on how to address this with [the] member of the family and my husband."

In a series of replies, Mumsnet users were quick to respond to the woman's concerns. One commenter said: "Well you're not being unreasonable at all."

Another Mumsnet user wrote: "You definitely need to say no to this next visit, and set ground rules for future visits. I couldn't bear either being a house guest or having a house guest for more than 3 days at a time."

"This person only wants to stay with you because you are a doormat," said another reply. "You should be your best advocate and the problem is, you're not."

"I wouldn't hold back in telling them it just isn't convenient for you to have them stay then. A reasonable person would understand," said another Mumsnet user.

In a later update, the mom wrote: "I think is more ignorance of how much extra work and inconvenience is to host someone so frequently. I dread the building up to the visit, I shouldn't feel like this."

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.