Mom Urged To Change Son's Surname To Make Him Heir to 'Generational Wealth'

A post about a mother refusing to change her son's surname has gone viral on Reddit, where it has 19,900 upvotes at the time of writing.

In a post titled: "WIBTA If I don't change my son's name even though it may cause him to lose an inheritance?" u/GeorgeMcMinty, 24, explained her baby's dad "lost interest" quickly when she fell pregnant five years ago.

"I understood but I am pro-choice. And I chose not to terminate," she wrote.

She explains she met the father while traveling and she had to prove her son belonged to him through a paternity test when she filed for child support. She describes his parents as "well off" and states they adored their first and only grandchild.

"They have provided gifts for his birthday and Christmas. They helped me with extra money so I could complete my university without going into debt. They have taken us on vacation with them so they could spend time with him. They aren't my biggest fans but we are cordial to each other," she wrote.

Three months ago, the father, 28, died after tripping on a sidewalk when intoxicated. At his funeral, the mom was asked to change her son's surname to his dad's and in return he will become the grandparents' "primary heir." However, the mom is in two minds.

She wrote: "I think this is dumb. He is their only grandchild and they would deny him an inheritance because of his last name?

"I said I would consider it, to be polite, and have left it at that. I actually have a pretty good life as it is. My family has been very supportive. And because of the whole court thing my son's father had to have life insurance with him as the beneficiary.

"Would it be nice for my kid to get a big sum of money. Yes. Do I want him to have the surname of a man who didn't want him, see him, or love him? No," she wrote.

The woman concludes the post by stating she will give her son the opportunity to decide when he is 16. She admits her family are against this decision.

She said: "It is generational wealth and I'm making the decision based on emotion. I think they are a******* for thinking money is the only thing that matters."

However Reddit users and Joe Camberato, a business expert, are encouraging the mom to re-consider.

Camberato told Newsweek: "While emotions understandably run high, you need to approach the matter pragmatically. Engage in open dialogue with your grandparents, and try to seek clarity on their motivations—and try to do this without confrontation. Your objective should be to gain a comprehensive understanding while maintaining a composed demeanor."

Camberato, founder of National Business Capital, a company that lends money to small businesses, has suggested the following:

• Initiate a heartfelt conversation with the grandparents and give them a platform to express their thoughts and motivations.
• Ask about the significance they attach to the son's last name.
• Seek their perspective so you can establish productive communication.

Camberato added: "It's worth acknowledging the thoughtful gestures they've extended so far, including maintaining a connection with you, sending gifts, and actively participating in your son's life. These actions underscore a degree of goodwill, especially considering the complexities often associated with in-law relationships.

"Consider the analogy that if you had been married, both you and your son would naturally bear their last name, even in the event of a divorce. While changing back is feasible, think about the potential for your son to make that choice for himself as he matures.

"The generosity they're extending with this offer is exceptional, and the long-term advantages it presents for both you and your son's future are worth contemplating. As someone who grew up in a financially challenging single-parent household, I understand the implications these decisions can have.

"Regardless of your personal history, your son will inevitably grow curious about his father and family heritage. It's only natural. This situation inherently connects you all, whether or not you move forward with this proposal."

So far, the post shared on August 18 has received 6,700 comments. The top comment alone has 20,000 upvotes, it said: "YTA. F that dude but also you're kinda screwing your kid by not changing the name. That money is your child's future and guess what they'll probably want it regardless of y'all's beef. If they find out that could also wreck y'all's relationship."

"Yes, I completely understand not wanting him to have the name of a man who did not want him, but being practical, that's a lot of money and if that's all they want, I would make the sacrifice for my son's sake. He shouldn't be punished for his dad being a bad guy," said another.

"NTA. I will add that if you do agree, that you hire a financial planner, and put the money into a trust that he gets at certain ages. This is definitely your decision, and I can see both sides. You appear to be a well grounded parent, which is a bonus. Good luck," suggested another person.

Newsweek reached out to u/GeorgeMcMinty for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

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