'Only Be Fed to Pigs': Woman Who Won't Cook for Husband After Insult Backed

The internet is rallying behind a woman who says she won't cook for her husband anymore after she said her cooking could "only be fed to pigs."

Posting to the Reddit forum r/AmITheA**hole, u/WalkAMileI5 earned over 20,500 upvotes and 2,300 comments in 12 hours for her post, "AITA for telling my husband I won't be cooking for him anymore because of the comment he made?"

Her husband doesn't know how to cook, and he doesn't like the meals that she makes from her native culture—so he'd eat fast food nearly exclusively, she says. Watching him eat unhealthily motivated her to learn to cook the food he was used to.

"It took me a while to get it done properly but now I can cook an entire list of his favorite meals. he praises my cooking and encourages me to learn more," she wrote.

But when they were visiting his parents, she discovered the truth. She excused herself when she was done to go wash her hands. When she was returning to the table, she overheard her husband's father chastise him for eating so much, asking if she cooked for him.

"My husband said that I do cook for him but the food I make can only be fed to pigs not humans. I was hurt and so offended," u/WalkAMileI5 wrote.

She told him that if that was how he felt, she'd no longer make him food. She took her purse and went home.

"He got back later saying it wasn't like that and that even if it was then I should be happy he still eats my food when it's still 'not perfect' yet," she wrote. "He said he was trying to protect my feelings and I hurt him when I said I won't cook anymore."

She held firm, though, and he went back to stay with his dad, saying that she overreacted.

"He said he won't be back til I go back to cooking but I don't see that happening anytime soon. He can stay there, no pressure," she wrote.

It can be tough when someone in the relationship is a picky eater—all the worse when he doesn't know how to cook, and apparently refuses to learn. There are a few strategies for getting someone to actually stop being picky when it comes to food, Megan McArdle says, writing for Bloomberg View—though it does require the help of the picky eater.

On the cook's end, it helps to remember how it could be scary trying new things as a child, McArdle says. Tasting menus at a fancy restaurant can be another way to open a spouse's palate, she suggests.

Tasting menus provide a small amount of a number of different dishes, making it less daunting—since if they don't like something, they're not stuck with a whole meal of it. In addition, since there's a number of different dishes, it's more socially acceptable if someone doesn't like something, taking some of the pressure off.

But the picky eater also needs to make an effort. McArdle says that the problem is that they often decide they won't like something before trying it.

"If you are a picky eater, that means that you need to acknowledge that you absolutely are contributing to your own pickiness by getting stuck in it. As soon as my husband relaxed about new foods, he became magically more likely to enjoy them," she wrote.

Reddit was soundly on u/WalkAMileI15's side in this, as it appeared that her husband wasn't making much of an effort.

"If he knows what's so perfect for him, nothing is stopping him from giving it a go. And that part about [u/WalkAMileI15] hurting his feelings? F**k that noise indeed. [Not the A**hole]," u/WithoutDennisNedry wrote.

"I came here to say you shouldn't take such drastic action for just one comment, but I've changed my mind. He doesn't cook. He doesn't like your cultural foods. You learned his favorite meals. He never criticized them, not even constructively. Then he waits til you are out of the room to make the most disrespectful comment imaginable about your cooking, to his parents," u/Curious_One4595 wrote. "His statement and behavior is gross, mean, and he is being a very poor husband and a bad human being. He's an uncultured, crude, boor of a man and husband. [Not the A**hole]."

"My husband is learning how to cook basic stuff like chicken and pasta and he gets up in the morning sometimes and makes lunch for me to work and I am so grateful. He's come a long way from 'you are 100% responsible for feeding me' 10 years ago. And sometimes he uses to much butter or salt or overcooked or whatever and I'll tell him that in a constructive way and I always let him know how grateful I am. Having a spouse cook for you is a privilege, not a right. [Not the A**hole]," u/tinaxbelcher wrote. "This is, in my opinion, a hill to die on. I hope [u/WalkAMileI15] stands their ground!"

"NTA, he doesn't deserve your cooking. Or give him the potato peels, like you would a pig," u/likeahike wrote.

Newsweek reached out to u/WalkAMileI15 for comment.