Outrage as Bride Doesn't Invite Half Sister to Wedding Over Parent Feud

A young woman refusing to talk to her sister over a wedding invite is being backed online.

In a post shared to Reddit's Am I the A******? (AITA) forum on October 2, user u/positivebean explained that her older half-sister didn't invite her to her wedding four years ago, despite the pair having a close relationship.

Adding to the hurt, the bride didn't tell her then-teen sister she wasn't invited, lying to their father to cover her tracks.

Now, the older sister has tried to reach out through their father, but the poster is reluctant to let her sister back into her life, turning to Reddit for advice.

Eight Percent of Americans Are Estranged From a Sibling

For his 2020 book Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How to Mend Them, sociologist Karl Pillemer conducted a national survey and found that 27 percent of American adults were estranged from a family member.

Out of the 1,300 participants, 10 percent were estranged from a parent or child, 9 percent from an extended family member, and 8 percent from a sibling. Pillemer discovered that harsh parenting, favoritism and divorce were common triggers of family estrangement. He also found that rifts often go beyond those involved, pulling in other family members in a "ripple effect."

Moa Lundstrom is an existential psychotherapist and clinical director of The London Practice. In situations such as this, she recommends tapping into your emotions and analyzing the pros and cons of reestablishing contact.

She told Newsweek: "You don't have to do anything you don't want to. But before you reject your sister's attempts to make amends, ask yourself why.

"To be excluded from such a key event as a wedding can be extremely hurtful and feel like it sets the tone for your relationship, but it might have been a very difficult decision which perhaps she regrets today.

"The fact that she is reaching out now means that your relationship matters to her. If you think it's worth saving, I would say that compassion and forgiveness is always the best way. In 20 years, looking back, would it be worth falling out with family over this? That's up to you."

'Ignores My Existence'

In her post, positivebean explained she hasn't spoken to her older sister "Sarah," now 32, for four years.

Sarah and their other sister "Haley" are from their dad's first marriage, while the poster is from his current one. Sarah and Haley have always got along with their dad's second wife and were "thrilled" they were getting a baby sister.

She wrote: "I saw [Haley and Sarah] a lot growing up, and our relationship was pretty good. Sarah was especially fond of me, inviting me to her place a lot and doing a lot of fun stuff together like going to the movies."

Although her parents met years after he'd split from his ex-wife, "Mary" still hasn't moved on. Instead, she "ignores" positivebean's existence and refuses to be around her. As a result, the poster has been excluded from other important events in her sister's life.

Still, when Sarah got engaged in 2018, the poster assumed she was invited. However, she found out the truth when her father only booked one plane ticket for the destination wedding in Italy.

She said: "My mom had warned me after they got engaged that I probably wouldn't be invited and to not get my hopes up, but I didn't think Sarah actually wouldn't invite me because her mom can't cope that my dad moved on and had a child with another woman."

The poster was also hurt that Sarah didn't warn her, leaving her to find out from someone else. Her dad said he was completely unaware of the situation, with Sarah claiming she'd told the poster she wasn't invited.

"She just moved on with her life like it never happened," she said.

"Ever since then I kinda detached myself from her and didn't go over to her place with my dad or anything. After a couple [of] months I completely stopped talking to her."

However, Sarah recently tried to mend the rift, with her dad encouraging the poster to make amends.

"My dad asked me to maybe talk it out with her," she said. "She also tried to reach out to me a couple of months ago, asking my dad if he could ask me to have a talk with her."

Reddit users supported the poster, with the story receiving almost 5,000 upvotes and over 600 comments.

"I don't understand why it's up to you to reach out to her," said grandoledog. "Why hasn't she reached out to you?"

Deucalion666 agreed, commenting: "It's been four years and she has made no effort to fix things."

"She knew what she was doing was hurting you," wrote Selenophile91. "She didn't even have the courage to tell you in person that you weren't invited."

While RandomNick42 said: "If I were in OPs position, I would tell dad that Sarah did me dirty, to such a level she felt the need to lie to him so she doesn't look that bad. That I am ready to hear her out, but she must reach out to me."

Newsweek has reached out to u/positivebean for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.