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Our son, Eli, was a very happy surprise. I have three older children and became pregnant in October 2021. I had recently lost a pregnancy, so it was exciting to be able to have another little blessing.
I wasn't pregnant for that long before he made his entrance into the world. On March 19, 2022, I went for a routine ultrasound and everything looked normal. At midnight, my water broke at just 22 weeks and one day.
Doctors didn't know why Eli had arrived so early; they said that sometimes there's no reason, it just happens. Then they told us that because he was so premature, Eli was not viable—it was likely he would not survive the birth.
It was devastating. We had already lost one pregnancy and they were telling us that had he been born at 23 weeks or 24 weeks things might have been different. All we could do was pray.
A team of specialists and the neonatologist were brought in and met with us several times to explain what his future may look like. They told us that if he survived, his limbs may be stiff and he may not be able to move them; that even if he did survive the birth, he may not live for very long.
"Even if he does have disabilities, he's still my child," I told doctors.
The plan was that I would stay in the hospital on bed rest for as long as possible, but that turned out not to be very long at all. I began having contractions and one of the nurses came in to administer medications.
The majority of the medical team was outside of the door and I kept telling my nurse that I felt pressure, but she told me it wasn't time to push yet. Then Eli just came out on the bed. I yelled at her and she ran over. Her face turned pale.
She ran out of the room and once she left the neonatal team came in. In an instant, it felt like there were a million people in the room. Once Eli was stable they showed him to me briefly, and then took him to the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU) while they tried to stabilize me.
I was in shock. I was not prepared for what I saw. His skin was translucent and his legs were the size of my fingers. His eyes were completely fused. He was almost purple. It was hard to see him that way.
As soon as Eli was stabilized, the neonatologist came back to speak to me to tell me that he would require a lot of medical attention. I was also told that it was very important to give him breast milk, and that if I chose not to give him breast milk my husband had signed a consent form to give Eli milk from a donor.
The doctor explained that for premature babies breast milk is hugely important because it contains additional nutrients and calories to help them grow. With my first child, I had breastfed for one month, but I never knew the importance of breast milk until Eli came along.
I remember the neonatologist coming in and saying: "I did my part. Now you have to do yours." I was tired and it was exhausting, but I knew that that was the best thing for him and I wanted to try my best.
I really made an effort to pump around the clock. Every three hours I would set my alarm. Even when I was sitting next to his bed, they would bring in the pump for me. The NICU also provided breast milk-based nutritional fortifiers from Prolacta to help Eli grow. Although constantly breastfeeding was difficult, it was a beautiful feeling because I knew that I was helping him.
Every day Eli improved. It was a slow process, but he was getting better. When Eli was born, he weighed 550 grams and measured at just under 12 inches long. Each time they weighed him, it was amazing to see that he had gained weight, even if it was only an ounce.
I just kept praying. The doctors would tell me every day: "Don't be optimistic and don't be pessimistic. Just take it one day at a time." But once we made it to that month, and I saw a big difference in his growth, I felt that we would make it home.
During our time in hospital, Eli had a level four brain bleed on his left side. He had numerous blood transfusions, fractured ribs, and ended up in isolation at one point due to an infection. At one stage he developed patent ductus arteriosus (PDA) and was going to be transferred to a different hospital. Fortunately, that resolved on its own.
Despite all the ups and downs, Eli continued to make progress.
Going through all this with three other kids at home was hard. The hospital is about 40 to 45 minutes from my house but I made it a point to go every day. Sometimes I'd go two or three times a day.
Right before I gave birth, we called the other kids and explained to them what could happen should Eli come home. They were all very understanding; my oldest son would call me on lunch break to check on him. They understood that sometimes they were going to have takeout for dinner, but they were very patient.
It was hard on them as well, but we just tried to take it one day at a time.
Eli was in hospital for a total of 123 days. The goal was to send him home once he could master his feeding and he finally left the hospital one day before his due date.
It was very emotional. I couldn't believe that we had made it. Once we got everything packed up from the NICU everybody was cheering. He was the oldest baby there and it was sad to leave behind all of the people who had helped him, because you form a special bond with them, but we were just so excited to get him home.
The first few weeks were a little bit nerve-racking. At that point, he was still on oxygen and we had to have his monitor on. Sometimes it would move a little and go off in the middle of the night, which was very scary. But after the first couple of weeks, we felt more comfortable.
Now, Eli has just celebrated his first birthday and is doing amazingly well. Every time we followed up with a different doctor, they were just in shock at his progress.
They always told us that they expected to see a different baby. He was born at 22 weeks old, now he crawls, he sits, he's starting to stand. He eats solid foods. He's happy. He has peace.
He's doing all the things that, at one point, we were told he may never do.
Paloma Aguilar lives in Las Vegas, Nevada, with her husband, Eliesar, and their four children.
All views expressed in this article are the author's own.
As told to Newsweek's My Turn associate editor, Monica Greep.
Do you have a unique experience or personal story to share? Email the My Turn team at myturn@newsweek.com
