Parents Slammed for Giving One Child Their House in Inheritance

A mother and father have been admonished online after announcing they will leave their house in inheritance to just one of their two children.

Posting on Mumsnet, a British discussion website, a woman in her 30s said her mother told her "out of the blue" that "they are planning to leave their house to my brother", which left her feeling "properly pee'd off".

She wrote: "I am one of two siblings, and me and my brother are both in our 30s now and both of us have a relationship with our parents.

"I have worked since I left school…I have an inherited health condition that has made this a real struggle at times, I am happy with my life, and am married. We brought our house through blood sweat and tears same as everyone else.

"My brother I love dearly btw, none of this is a jibe at him. Brother has rarely worked i.e worked for short periods in-between addiction and substance issues, is twice divorced and lives alone now in a council flat in a high rise."

Council houses are public housing in the U.K., owned by the local authority.

The woman continued: "Last week, out of the blue, My Mum told me that they are planning to leave their house to my brother, in their will as it is 'ok for me, as I own a house.'

"I was shocked at this as you can imagine, and Mum asked me how I would feel. I literally was on the backfoot and said 'you do whatever you think is right' and I stand by that, as I feel that I should not be pointing out to them what to do."

However, the woman said she was privately feeling "properly pee'd off about this", but had been "sworn to secrecy," so she couldn't even raise it with her brother.

She added: "My main issue is, they are doing this on the basis that I own a house (with my husband obviously) so they assume I will be set up forever.

"However, as I mentioned before I have an inherited health condition where no one that I know of, in my family (who have inherited it) has been able to continue working past age 55 due the declining issues it causes. My brother does not have this condition, which I am grateful for truly. Plus, just because me and my husband are happy now, we could split up in two years for example, and me end up out on my ear, or stuck with mortgage I can't afford to pay."

You can read the post here.

Several other Mumsnet users expressed sympathy, arguing parents should split their wealth evenly to avoid conflict between their children.

One posted: "Reading this everything is not OK. I think you should be rightfully raging. You don't have to make excuses for the situation - your parents are treating you unfairly so you have a choice to make - accept it and don't chew it over or push back and say 'actually that's not OK, I think it's unfair and here is why'."

Another added: "I would just take it as the parents telling me they didn't like me very much, and preferred the brother. They don't care about your future, your potential illness, how hard you have had to work.

"They just prefer your brother. He is clearly the attention seeking one and they like that, whereas you have just got on quietly with having a useful life. Cut them off and see if they run about after you, if not, leave them."

A third wrote: "This is bloody hard when you have spent a lifetime of obligation and guilt dealing with your toxic mother. You have a perfect opportunity to step away from your parents now.

"Your mother is playing the ageing narcissist's game of using her will to divide and conquer. Just leave them to it. No dramatics, no letters, she'd love that. Just walk away with minimum contact. Toxic parents ruin people's lives."

However not all Mumsnet users disagreed with the parents' decision, with one arguing it was justified due to her brother's addiction.

They posted: "Your parents are obviously very worried about your DB [Dear Brother] and you are clearly minimizing his situation on here, in order to gain support from randoms.

"Fact is any addiction is extremely harmful and unless he manages to get clean and stay clean for the rest of his life, his life expectancy is likely to be much shorter than yours as the majority of addicts will relapse at some point. I don't hold with fair treatment means equal shares."

Users often use Mumsnet to request relationship advice, or ask whether their actions and emotions are rational.

In one discussion a woman who had just given birth was praised for asking her mother not to visit immediately, as she was feeling overwhelmed by visitors.

Another post saw a woman explain why she refused to give up her "really nice spot" by the river to a couple with a toddler, when requested.

In a third debate a bridesmaid was condemned for dropping out of her friend's wedding at the last minute, because she felt she looked "fat in the dress".