'Petty' Wife Backed for Serving her Cake to Husband Instead of Mom-in-Law's

A wife has received widespread support for refusing to serve her mother-in-law's cake at her husband's birthday party, instead dishing out her own.

She shared the dilemma to Reddit's popular r/AmITheA**hole sub, under the apt username u/aitacakecakecake, where she was upfront about her and her in-law not getting along.

This is what has caused her to question her actions, saying: "We don't argue and are usually civil but we definitely don't have any kind of depth in our relationship. So because of that I'm not sure if I was just being a petty AH [a**hole] or no?"

She explained her husband recently celebrated his birthday and she threw a surprise party for him at a restaurant, with his family and close friends.

There was a group chat where she specifically wrote she was bringing the cake, which is why she was surprised to find his mom had also turned up with one.

She took decisive action, saying: "Anyway I get to the restaurant a few minutes before husband arrives and ask the maitre d' to put the cake in the kitchen fridge until we are ready for it.

"Then he tells me that my MIL has brought an ice cream cake (which is so stupid since husband has allergies) and told them that that was the cake for our party.

"I told him I made the reservation and to serve my cake and give the other one back to MIL later.

"Husband arrived, we all had a lovely dinner and he loved the cake I bought for him. When it was served though MIL was glaring daggers at me.

"After we left dinner she's been texting me calling me a sneaky cow and threatening to tell husband that I purposely excluded her contribution.

"She will probably call him at work later and exaggerate what happened so before then I want to know if I'm the AH, after all we could have just served both cakes."

The post, which can be read here, amassed more than 5,000 interactions since being posted on Wednesday, while the top comment, from VanGoghHo, racked up nearly 8,000 upvotes alone.

"NTA she tried to be sneaky with something he's literally allergic to," they wrote.

The wife shared more details about the allergies in the comments, saying her 47-year-old mother-in-law bought an ice-cream cake, despite knowing he has a "lactose allergy."

She added: "I had to sign a waiver to have the cake stored and served because it's from outside the restaurant. It's for food hygiene and general health and safety reasons.

"It only applied to one cake. So of course I'm going to serve the one that I chose for hubby, which is his favorite and not the one which husband and a couple of our friends would not be able to eat due to dairy allergies/intolerances."

She clarified the allergy isn't bad enough for "anaphylaxis," saying he can take medication for the effects if he's craving dairy.

According to the NHS, lactose intolerance is: "A common digestive problem where the body is unable to digest lactose, a type of sugar mainly found in milk and dairy products."

Symptoms usually appear a few hours after eating anything that contains it, and includes bloating, feeling sick, stomach cramps and pains, farting and diarrhea.

Despite the allergy, people backed the wife serving her cake over the older woman's, claiming it was more about power.

Katniss339 wrote: "NTA. MIL already knew you were bringing a cake. She thought she could be sneaky. There was no reason to serve her cake as well."

WithEyesWideOpen thought: "Don't let her in the future, she'll learn that you'll let her stomp boundaries and it'll just get worse over time. Hold firm, you did great."

Annang commented: "Your problem isn't your MIL, it's your husband. And it's not about birthday cake, it's about the fact that your husband doesn't have your back. That's going to destroy your marriage if you don't fix it, pronto."

Xenwarriorprincess said: "That's problematic OP. Your husband doesn't believe the lies his mother tells about you and you have to prove what happened? Y'all should work on being a more united team when it comes to his mother or you're in for way more issues in the future."

AwkwardPianist_94 wrote: "NTA. At all. Personally, I'm glad you handled the situation the way that you did. You sent a clear message that you won't be putting up with this kind of BS."

AlreadyPrettyEnough commented: "I bet she thinks that her precious perfect boy couldn't possibly actually be lactose intolerant and you're just denying him ice cream because you are controlling and evil."

The chart below, provided by Statista, shows the rise in food alternatives.

You will find more infographics at Statista

The NHS pointed out that people who are lactose intolerant can react differently, to varying amounts, and while the birthday boy may have suffered mild symptoms, his friends may have had a more severe reaction.

"Some people may still be able to drink a small glass of milk without triggering any symptoms, while others may not even be able to have milk in their tea or coffee," the NHS added.

Anaphylaxis is a potentially deadly-side effect of ingesting a "problem food, according to Foodallergy.com, which can cause reduced blood pressure and difficulty breathing.

"Symptoms of a milk allergy reaction can range from mild, such as hives, to severe, such as anaphylaxis.

"If you have a milk allergy, keep an epinephrine injection device with you at all times. Epinephrine is the first-line treatment for anaphylaxis," they said.

Newsweek reached out to u/aitacakecakecake for comment.