Pregnant Woman Walking Out of Her Baby Shower Over In-Laws' Comments Backed

The internet has backed a woman who walked out of her own baby shower after her mother-in-law snatched food out of her hands because she's "gained enough weight already."

In a post shared on Reddit on Wednesday, the soon-to-be mom, under the username u/MonicaRogers099, explained that after her husband had an argument with her sister and did not allow her to throw a party for his pregnant wife, his own sister decided to throw her one.

All of the poster's in-laws were at the party, but none of her family went. During the baby shower, which only served cake and juice, the soon-to-be mom grabbed a slice of cake, but her mother-in-law wouldn't let her have it.

She snatched the piece of cake out of her hands, telling her in front of everyone that she's "gained enough weight already" and if she "keeps this up," her son will not be happy living with "a large walrus."

According to the American Psychological Association, over 40 percent of American adults across a range of bodies and sizes experience weight stigma at some point in their life, now more than usual because of the pandemic, which has been found to be linked to weight gain among the population.

Weight stigma, also called sizeism, leads to suffering and psychological distress, and it can also cause disordered eating, decreased physical activity, health care avoidance, and weight gain. In the long term, it even increases the risk of mortality.

Greg Kushnick, a psychologist from New York, told Newsweek that high weight isn't the problem, but the real problem is weight stigma and healthism.

"Fat people experience so much shame already even without mothers-in-laws vocally shaming them. We need to learn that all bodies are good bodies. No one is worth more or less. We need to learn that you can tell nothing about a person's eating habits by the size of their body (yes, you can be fat and anorexic, for instance). More importantly, it's no one's business what a person eats," Kushnick said.

"In addition to the tremendous shame and mental pain the mother-in-law has caused, maybe there's a way to educate her by challenging her with questions: Should fat people be allowed to eat delicious food? Do they deserve to enjoy the pleasures of food? How would you feel if someone called you out and humiliated you publicly on the way you look or how you eat?"

Kushnick explained that when on the receiving end of food or fat shaming, it tends to promote self-hatred and punishment of one's own body. "Shaming solidifies the very behavior we are aiming to change. This woman needs to set boundaries with anyone who speaks to her this way. Easier said than done since it's her mother-in-law," he said.

After being insulted by her mother-in-law, the pregnant woman grabbed her bag and started walking out, when her sister-in-law confronted her.

She said: "Her daughter stopped me saying I can't leave mid-party and embarrass her like that. I told her to tell her mom to leave if she wanted me to stay but she went off and said 'Are you crazy? She's my mom! you want me to kick her out in front of everybody?' I turned around and kept walking. I called mom to come pick me up and went home."

Later at home, her husband was "furious," telling her that his mom meant well, that she should apologize, and that she needs to change her "easily offended mentality" before giving birth so that she doesn't pass it on to their son.

The post shared on the r/AmItheA**hole community, where users discuss their actions with impartial strangers, has been upvoted over 19,000 times and received over 1,400 comments.

One user, Gjwtgf, said: "[Not The A**hole] so your own sister wasn't allowed to throw you a baby shower, which then cause your mom not to attend. Instead, your husband allowed his sister to throw one, where your [mother-in-law] bullied you. Is he/his family trying to control you, isolate you from your family or is this a once-off?"

And CapitalistPickle added: "OP needs to be careful because that's exactly how it sounds. Please take caution OP, your situation with these people sounds extremely toxic and dangerous. Don't let your '[Dear Husband]' manipulate you into isolation from your family, because that's exactly what he's attempting to do. This is not a man you want to raise a child with."

Another user, SabrinaB123, wrote: "Seriously. What kind of person hears that his pregnant wife was denied food, and not only thinks that it's okay but that they need to apologize to the one denying them food?? That's insane. This guy is a huge a**hole and I really hope OP divorces him. [Not The A**hole] OP, but you will be to yourself if you stay with this guy."

Newsweek reached out to u/MonicaRogers099 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.