Pregnant Woman Who Won't Tell Parents When She's in Labor Sparks Debate

A mother-to-be sparked a debate online when she announced she wouldn't let her family know when she's in labor, saying she will update people at her own pace.

In a post shared to Mumsnet on Tuesday, the woman, who goes by the username Grapes89, asked if she was being unreasonable for telling her and her husband's families that they will not let them know when she's in labor and will update them once the baby has arrived.

The mom-to-be explained that her mother is a "massive worrier" and her constantly messaging asking for updates would only make the situation worse while she's trying to have a baby.

"I'd love to [stay] a few days with no visitors as [I] just can't imagine trying to establish breastfeeding with an audience but feel too guilty to ask them to wait that long!" she wrote in her post, adding that the only person her and her husband have decided to update is the person who's agreed to look after their pets.

American couples are making more babies this year compared to last year, and some experts say we may see a baby boom in 2022. According to research carried out by macrotrends, the current birth rate for the U.S. in 2022 is 12.012 births per 1,000 people, a 0.09 percent increase from 2021.

The birth rate for the U.S. in 2021 was 12.001 births per 1,000 people, a 0.09 percent increase from 2020.

Among the over 100 comments that the post received, the majority were in favor of the mom-to-be, advising her to put her own comfort first. One user, Whataboutno, commented: "You can do whatever you like, your choice! No need to feel guilty about it either."

MintJulia added: "It's your labor. You do whatever you need to." And babyjellyfish said: "I didn't even tell my parents when my due date was. I called them after I'd given birth."

TheBigFish wrote: "We didn't tell anyone and it was perfect for us. I hated the idea of people knowing I was in labor and wondering what was going on. With DC2 I really didn't like the thought of someone having to know as they had to look after DC1. You should do what is best for you and not worry about others. You are the one giving birth."

While most people believed that the mother-to-be should put herself first on this occasion (childbirth!), some other users said she should worry about how that will make their families feel. RuthW commented: "I would be devastated if my daughter chose not to tell me when she was in labor. I can guarantee when it's your first grandchild in 30 years you will feel different. It's your choice though."

Another user who goes by the name HSKAT said: "All mothers worry when their daughters are in labor. I don't think it would help her not having a clue what's going on tbh. [You're] just not going to contact for possibly days? She'll know [you're] in labor and probs worry more not hearing anything."

Other people thought it's her decision to make but there's no need to announce it to anyone. Girafffesandbottoms commented: "I don't understand why you needed to announce this to them in advance." Anonymouseposter said: "You don't have to tell them when you go into labor if you prefer not to but it was unnecessary, dramatic and a bit mean to announce it in advance."

Aquamarine1029 added: "Why are you making something so simple into something so dramatic? You could give occasional updates and also turn off your phones. It's not complicated. Instead, you went ahead and deeply hurt your mother's feelings for no reason whatsoever. Of course she's worried about you and the baby, she loves you."