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It's prom season, and in the U.S., proms are still an important rite of teen passage. Historically, prom has been a heteronormative event that excluded the LGBTQ+ community.
As a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I understand the importance of creating safe spaces where we can be ourselves without fear of discrimination or judgment. I went to prom in 1991 and had to attend with a "date" which meant I could not go alone and could not bring a same-sex partner. To even hint back then that you might not be heterosexual usually led to bullying and ostracization, not just from other students but from teachers.
Queer proms and LGBTQ+-friendly proms have provided space for individuals to be their authentic identities and feel included. We've even seen a rise in LGBTQ+ celebrities attending prom with same-sex dates, including actress Bella Thorne and YouTube star Tyler Oakley. Yet at the same time, we have seen a rise in anti-LGBTQ+ sentiment and legislation.
Prom: A History of Discrimination
Proms in the late 19th century were originally intended for graduating college students and were where good young ladies from nice families found nice eligible men to marry.
By the 1950s, proms had shifted to the high school arena and were meant primarily to teach teenagers the correct social norms of dating, including who to date and who not to date. Those social norms included racial segregation and strictly enforced gender codes, like forbidding girls from dressing or acting masculine, or crossing racial lines.
Fast-forward to today and many people would not be surprised to see an interracial prom couple or even a same-sex couple. Yet it was not that long ago that proms still were racially segregated; Wilcox County High School in Abbeville, Georgia, held its first integrated prom in 2013 and most likely there are schools that still hold segregated proms.
For LGBTQ+ students, being able to bring same-sex partners as dates or participate in certain prom events is still something that is considered outside the "norm." In 2016, a Shasta Union High Schooler had to petition and contact the ACLU so she and her girlfriend could participate in the prom king and queen contest.
The Rise of Queer Proms and Inclusion
Queer proms were meant to support LGBTQ+ individuals and their allies. They provide a safe and inclusive space for queer youth to be themselves without fear and judgment. Usually, they're organized by LGBTQ+ groups and community members who understand the harm discrimination can have on the developing psyche. Some of the best LGBTQ+ youth-friendly proms include:
• The Los Angeles LGBT Center's annual High School Prom, which is open to all high school students in the Los Angeles area.
• The Pride Center of New Jersey's Rainbow Prom, which provides a safe and affirming space for LGBTQ+ youth in the state.
• The Gender and Sexuality Alliance Network's annual Queer Prom in Chicago, which attracts hundreds of LGBTQ+ youth each year.
Many LGBTQ+ adults, myself included, never got the opportunity to attend prom as their authentic selves. Discrimination and prejudice prevented many of us from experiencing this high school rite of passage. Now, groups are hosting second-chance proms on college campuses and cities for LGBTQ+ adults. Proms like:
• Alamo Colleges Queer Second Chance Prom
• Butler University in Indiana's Second Chance Prom, an event by the Butler LGBTQIA+ Alliance
• Queer Prom in NYC, an annual fundraising event for Equality Fashion Week (EFW)
• Philadelphia's Sip City Queer Prom of Your Dreams
Queer Proms Promote Tolerance
Unfortunately, the past few years saw a rise of intolerance, and a record number of anti-LGBTQ+ bills; as of June 2023, 520 are pending in the United States. Now more than ever, we need to celebrate events that bring joy, acceptance, and a sense of belonging, like queer prom.
Queer proms are more than just events. They are symbols of acceptance, inclusivity, and love. As we continue to fight for equality and acceptance for LGBTQ+ individuals, queer proms serve as a reminder that visibility matters. By creating safe spaces for all LGBTQ+ individuals, we can promote a more accepting and tolerant society.