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I grew up in a relatively normal household. My dad used to brew wine, but I never saw him really drink. When I was 14, my mum left the family home. It was a shock because she didn't tell me she was leaving. I came home from school one day and there was a letter on the table.
I didn't speak to my mom for a year after that; it was a real shock for me. Before my mom's departure, I was a quiet teenager and I didn't like big crowds. But shortly after that, I got in with some lads and began drinking with them because they made me feel a part of a community.
At the age of 14, I would ask adults outside stores to buy beer for us with any loose change that we had. Drinking alcohol made me feel confident; it also made me feel accepted in the group because, without it, I was usually quiet. When my mom eventually reached out, rather than expressing how I felt, I held back all of my emotions.
How my drinking habits developed
Although bottling up my emotions stemmed into my twenties, it was in my early thirties that I started to ramp up my drinking. I moved to Sutton, Surrey in England for work in 1990, and began my own carpeting business in 1992.
I had a neighbor that used to visit the pub regularly. I bumped into him one evening and he invited me. So, I started going to the local pub and I developed a nickname called "Glugs" because I would drink very quickly. At one point, I was drinking from eight to 10 pints of beer in two hours.
After that, I began buying alcohol from the store across the road from the pub. That's when my drinking really changed because I went from drinking socially, to drinking at home whilst isolated. I was getting drunk a lot in my house and showing up to work hungover. People began to comment on how rough I looked. I got into several bad relationships and couldn't maintain a long-term connection because I was constantly drunk and unreliable.
When I was 40, I moved to Belmont, three miles outside of Sutton. I lived there for 10 years. At the time, I wanted to move to upscale my skills and I found a beautiful cottage. Little did I know that it would become my prison because I would go shopping on a Friday afternoon, buy all of my alcohol for the weekend, and stay indoors the whole time.
I'd leave the house on Monday morning looking horrendous and smelling like alcohol. At the time, I was able to buy three bottles of wine for $12. I gained 22lbs because of it.
I then looked up what alcohol had the least amount of calories, and it was vodka. Prior to that, I had never really drunk vodka, but I had to lose weight and I couldn't compromise drinking.
I bought half a bottle of vodka but it would take me half an hour to finish it because I was a quick drinker. So, I bought a bottle, and I also soon realized that it wasn't enough. I then began buying liter bottles. Soon, I was drinking a liter and a half of vodka a day.
In 2012, I landed a job on a British makeover TV show as a carpet man. I thought: How can I be on a TV show and keep up my drinking without anybody noticing? I then realized that some people had drinks together after the show and, soon after, I became known as "Dave The Big Drinker." I'd often turn up to the set in the morning still drunk. After filming was finished, I would go home and I would drink lots of vodka and pass out. Then, I'd start again the next day all over again.
Trying to quit drinking for the first time
After getting married in 2014, I realized that I had to change my ways because I couldn't carry on with my life the way that it was. The person that I had married also had kids. So I tried to stop drinking, but it didn't work as I could only manage a few days.
After an argument in 2018, I went away to a local coastal town. I was drinking beer all day, then vodka, on the beach and passing out in the early hours of the morning; it lasted for four days. I had nowhere to stay as it was Easter weekend so all of the hotels were booked.
I was so drunk, I was trying to stand up on the beach and falling headfirst into the stones. I cut my head on the pebbles and could have ended up with a serious case of pneumonia. Because my phone battery had died, my wife could not get hold of me.
But this experience still wasn't enough to stop me from drinking.
My mom's passing
In October of that same year, my mom, unfortunately, passed away. I was with her holding her hand when she died. At that moment, I made peace with her leaving me when I was younger, and I told her I loved her for the first time. She also told me she loved me too, which is something she had never done before.
Three weeks after my mom's passing, I had a dream that felt very real. I dreamt that I had met my mom in an old-fashioned mansion and that she was around 40 years old. She looked immaculate, and when she spoke, she told me not to worry about her. I woke up the next morning feeling amazed.
After that dream, I went to the doctor and I was told that I was a walking heart attack. My blood pressure was 186/124 and I weighed 280lbs. I couldn't even put my socks on without being out of breath.
Giving up alcohol for good
Then in early 2019, I received a text message from a friend who asked me to give up alcohol with him for three months. I had thought about the dream that I had of my mom. Gradually throughout the day, the idea of quitting alcohol started to make more sense.
I went to see my friend that evening and told him that I would like to try to be sober. So, I began my journey on January 7, 2019. That was the last time that I drank alcohol. I went to Alcoholics Anonymous straight away.
I attended five meetings, but it didn't work for me personally. I then created an Instagram page and began seeing community events for alcoholics. Some gave the opportunity for recovering alcoholics to go to meetings and events, and meet new people.
So, I decided to attend one of them and met loads of people there. It was then that I realized that having a community is so important for recovering alcoholics. Meeting like-minded people that had gone through similar things made me feel normal, rather than feeling like I was the odd one out. In September of 2019, I held my own event, the theme was hope and bravery.
Someone flew from Germany to come to that event and someone come down from Scotland. After speaking to people on stage, I realized the power I had in my voice at the age of 54.
Life without alcohol
In 2020, I completed a qualification to become a gray area drinking coach. Gray area drinking is considered to be drinking that is somewhere between serious alcoholism and not drinking much at all. I qualified in September of that year and three months after, I decided to become a sobriety coach.
I was very passionate about building a community for recovering alcoholics, so, toward the beginning of 2021, I decided to create a podcast called One For The Road. This led to me wanting to write my own book about my experiences, which has the same name as my podcast.
Even now, I believe that the dream that I had of my mom is what prompted me to stop drinking. I'm currently going through a tough season in my life but still have not drunk alcohol at all.
David Wilson is a certified grey area drinking coach and public speaker. He is dedicated to motivating others to transform their lives. David began his podcast One For The Road in 2019 and published his book One For The Road in August 2022. You can find out more information about him here.
All views expressed in this article are the author's own.
As told to Newsweek associate editor, Carine Harb.
