Dad Furious With Ex Taking Young Daughter to Bachelorette Party Dragged

A mom has been backed online for taking her daughter to see Paris rather than her paternal family.

Posting on Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole sub, user starless012 explained she normally takes her daughter to see her ex-partner's family twice a year. However, on this occasion, they're going to starless012's sister's bachelorette trip instead.

The post has received over 7,600 upvotes and the top comment alone has been upvoted 15,000 times.

The mom told Redditors she rang her ex and asked for permission to take their daughter to Paris. You can read the original post here.

The original post continued: "It was pretty obvious he was busy and was just trying to get me off the phone. We never had a follow-up conversation and I don't think he made the connection that I was supposed to take her to see his family then but two days into the trip he called me and was furious that I hadn't taken her to see them."

"He said his family had been waiting for us and I needed to go to them immediately. He kept bringing up our agreement and telling me off for not sticking to it and I ended up hanging up on him because he wasn't listening to anything I said. Even now that we're home, he keeps mentioning that I broke our agreement and how he no longer feels obliged to stick to it."

Be direct and honest

Newsweek spoke to Jamie Schenk DeWitt, a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Los Angeles.

She explained it is "essential to get verbal or written consent when altering the plan".

DeWitt told Newsweek: "To have a harmonious and respectful agreement between exes, there needs to be trust and understanding when it comes to keeping or breaking arrangements, especially involving your children. A simple approach is to give your ex-partner enough notice to process the change, as well as find a convenient, mutually agreed-upon time to discuss the altered plan.

"Lastly, make sure you and your ex have clearly stated the agreed-upon change to each other and maybe even in writing so that when it may resurface there is clear documentation of the change in order to avoid any unnecessary arguments."

"Just because you have made a conscious and concerted effort to terminate the relationship with your ex, your child creates an overlap that makes respecting and maintaining agreements essential even though it may cause both people discomfort and frustration. The best and most productive way to manage this intersection between the two of you is with clear, direct, and honest communication regardless of the stress and conflict that."

AITA?

Racking up 15,000 upvotes, the top comment said: "NTA [not the a**hole], he gave verbal permission. It's on him that he didn't pay attention to the dates. INFO: why isn't HE taking kiddo to see his own dang family? I'd rather peel my own skin off with a rusty spoon than spend time with my ex's family."

Another wrote: "My thoughts exactly. Why is OP the one taking her daughter to spend time with the ex-in-laws? Why does the father not do that during his visitation time? It seems like the paternal grandparents care more about visitation than their son, so they need to take that up with him. OP got permission, it's not her fault that her ex couldn't be bothered to run it by his family, and probably only got mad because his parents were upset."

"Even in the absolute best break up, the kids always lose," said another.

Newsweek reached out to u/starless012, for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.