Woman Backed for Calling Ex's Wife Out for Being Jobless: 'Cried and Left'

A woman has been backed for calling out her ex's wife for being jobless.

In a viral Reddit post, u/Chance-Persimmon-164, explained her ex-boyfriend is still part of her social circle and has recently tied the knot with someone he started to date shortly after their split in 2017.

The 25-year-old woman told other users about a recent encounter that left his wife in tears. The post has received 9,900 upvotes since November 10 and the top comment alone has racked up more than 17,000.

Newsweek spoke to a dating expert who referred to the scenario as "passive-aggressive."

The poster says she has remained single after a one-year relationship with her ex, but she has managed to "advance" her career.

The ex started to date his now wife approximately two months after they split up. According to Better Help, a mental health platform, there are five things you shouldn't do when an ex moves on quickly.

• Don't talk to your ex after they've moved on quickly
• Don't second-guess yourself, move on
• Avoid taking vengeance because your ex moved on
• Don't send "accidental" messages
• Don't try to interfere with their new relationship

The woman admitted she took the break up "very hard" and sent some "embarrassing texts" a few nights after the breakup when she was drunk.

"It was the worst heartbreak I've ever had, and it didn't help that he kept messaging me to be "friends" even though I tried to set boundaries and say I need space to heal."

"Anyways, that's all in the past. I can confidently say that I have indeed healed from that and am over him."

She goes on to explain she has been in the same social settings as him and his new wife a few times as they have mutual friends from university.

"While he and I have buried the hatchet and usually just chat when we happen to be in the same room for a bit (although we never text or meet up outside of these contexts), his wife and I have always treated each other with polite disinterest. I know she really doesn't like me."

The woman noted that the wife has been "unemployed for a long time" but she isn't sure why. She suggests she might want to be a stay-at-home wife or perhaps she is struggling to find work despite having a master's degree. The poster on the other hand states she is "quite far ahead" in an unspecified field for someone her age.

More recently, the group met up for drinks and the drama unfolded.

"Someone I haven't seen in a while asked me if I'm dating anyone. I replied "no, not right now." My ex's wife quickly made a snark comment "aw it's okay, some people just stay single" in front of everyone, like 10 of our friends. Without missing a beat, I blurted out "yeah just like some people are meant to stay unemployed".

"She got really upset, cried, and left. Her husband messaged me that I should apologize to her for embarrassing her. I said I will if she apologizes first. He said she refused because what I said was worse, apparently."

Speaking to Newsweek about the viral post, Emyli Lovz, co-founder of dating agency EmLovz, said: "It sounds like a lot of passive-aggressive energy. If she wants to avoid similar fallouts and cares about the connection and the rift it may cause amongst her group of friends, then it's worth reaching out to communicate. When communicating, you can also voice what hurt your feelings and make a request for that not to happen in the future."

Lovz said a "helpful model is the Non-Violent Communication Model:"

• Neutral Observation: I noticed that you did this. Straight-forward, unbiased, neutral retelling of what happened.
• Feelings: How did it make you feel? Use I statements. Stick to the core wound feelings. Hurt. Pain. Sadness. Fear. It feels really invalidating. Confusion. Uncomfortable. Ex: I'm not comfortable with...
• What I need: I need to feel safe, heard, respected, and seen, like I can trust the people around me. Ex: I need people to show up consistently in my life and to communicate with me.
• Make a request (if applicable): Ex: I'm wondering if you'd be willing to show up in a more consistent way in our friendship.

"After working through this model, I'd encourage an apology if it's sincere," she suggested.

The post has received a lot of traction with 1,500 responses from Redditors.

The top comment said: "People need to learn not to start s*** unless they can handle someone else finishing it for them. I have zero sympathy for a******* that are inexplicably rude and then have the audacity to act offended when the object of their rudeness fails to passively accept it."

Another said: "I'm just jealous you were so quick to come up with something so justified and perfect. I never think of the perfect retort until it comes to me in the middle of the night. Yay for you! Obviously not the a******."

Newsweek reached out to @u/Chance-Persimmon-164 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

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