Woman Dumping Her Fiancé for Boyfriend in Front of His Parents Backed

A young woman who was in a polyamorous relationship has been applauded online for leaving her fiancé for her boyfriend in a viral Reddit post.

Redditor u/Low_Field_2895 said up until six months ago, the 25-year-old was in a monogamous relationship with her fiancé, 28. Initially, he asked if they could sleep with other people. Then, three months later, he asked to be in a polyamorous relationship, whereby the couple has romantic relationships with other people too.

She agreed and eventually entered into a relationship with someone from her gym while her fiancé became involved with a coworker. The Redditor said she began to prefer her new boyfriend as he showed more affection than her partner of four years ever did.

A recent study published in Frontiers in Psychology looked at data from a nationally representative sample of 3,438 single adults in the U.S. from various backgrounds. Researchers found one in nine (10.7 percent) have been polyamorous at some point in their lives.

Difference Between Open Relationships and Polyamory

Initially, the Redditor's fiancé asked for an open relationship. This means they agreed to see other people outside of the relationship.

Whereas polyamory means the partners have agreed to pursue "more than one committed relationship at a time," states the mental health resource Very Well Mind.

Potential Problems

One common that could occur when in an open relationship is jealousy. But this Redditor doesn't seem to mind about her fiancé dating a woman from work as she is very happy with her boyfriend, 26.

Talking about her new lover, she wrote: "He takes me on dates every week, he brings me flowers and food at work. He texts me just to say hi. He's sweet and affectionate."

She compares her boyfriend to her fiancé and states he is "never affectionate" and his "idea of a date" is playing board games or watching TV. She states they are different in bed too and refers to sex with her fiancé as a "chore" more often than not.

"My boyfriend however is very tender, he takes his time and he checks if I'm enjoying it, he cuddles with me after and brings me snacks," she wrote.

The three-month relationship with her boyfriend led the woman to call off the wedding. She told her fiancé she felt unloved.

"I grew up around men that were emotionally unavailable and most women in my family constantly told [me] that men aren't affectionate so I guess I kinda believed it," she said.

She added she wants to break the cycle and be with someone who shows their emotions. The breakup didn't go to plan, however, as his parents were unexpectedly present.

"I wanted to have the conversation with him privately but his mom started talking about the wedding, she had a bunch of flower arrangements, dresses, and venues printed out and she was going to buy a dress tomorrow. I got overwhelmed and ended up telling them the wedding is off," she wrote.

Expert Advice

Newsweek reached out to Carrie Jeroslow, a relationship coach, who states polyamory will "never fix" a "dysfunctional relationship."

"It is very similar to the idea that having a baby can save a marriage. Opening up a relationship will 100 percent highlight all the things that are not working within the relationship," told Jeroslaw, the author of Why Do They Always Break Up With Me?

"These aspects will be exacerbated by the contrast of the other relationships. In order to be successful at polyamory, the couple needs to both be willing to communicate their needs and also be able to have very difficult conversations.

"Both must be willing to do their best to listen to their partner's feelings, honor them and find compassion. There are a lot of very deep emotions that come up in a polyamorous relationship. Communication is so essential and if there isn't a foundation of honest, caring communication, the experience will never work.

"If, however, both people are in agreement with the experience, committed to their own inner exploration, open to conscious, compassionate communication, and understanding that each is doing the very best they can, then polyamory can be a beautiful, fulfilling experience for all involved."

What Do the Comments Say?

The post, shared on January 20, has received a lot of traction as 1,400 users have since commented.

The Redditor concluded the post by stating her fiancé "confessed he only wanted to open the relationship because he wanted to sleep with his coworker without being a cheater."

One comment that received 5,100 upvotes said: "Him asking for an open relationship seems to be a blessing in disguise. I hope you are able to find a fulfilling relationship."

"Ugh, this fiancé sounds super gross. Seriously, move on from that chapter as quickly as you possibly can!! Even if the relationship doesn't last, at least you now know what you want. Don't settle - the right guy is out there, you just have to find him!... and snacks after sex? Uhhhh, tbh kinda jealous about that ;)," commented another.

Update 26/01/22, 05:29 a.m. ET: This article was updated with a comment from Carrie Jeroslow.

Newsweek reached out to u/Low_Field_2895 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

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