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Members of a popular internet forum defended one woman who explained why she refused to give up her mother's wedding dress to her sister.
In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/Hot_Pilot_1537 (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said her sister aggressively denied the dress numerous times over the years but abruptly changed her tune when it was time for her to get married.
Titled, "[Am I the a**hole] for not letting my sister wear my mom's wedding dress at her own wedding?" the post has received nearly 7,000 votes and 1,400 comments in the last day.
Beginning with the explanation that their mother is sick and "not in the picture," the original poster said her sister is getting married soon and expressed her desire to wear their mother's wedding dress on her special day.
The original poster, however, also said that her sister has not always admired the dress the way she does now.
"Mom always wanted us to wear the dress, but my sister...hated it," OP wrote. "She, very vocally, trashed the dress. [She said] that it was ugly, that if she ever got married she would want a black or red wedding dress [and] that she doesn't want to wear a second handed one."
"Mom tried to offer it a few times and she always said no," OP continued. "For my quinceañera my mom asked her for the last time if she wanted the dress and got rejected. So my mom gave it to me."
Noting that it's her "most precious piece," the original poster said she plans to wear the dress at her wedding, whenever that may be. Unfortunately, the original poster's sister decided she wanted to wear it first.
"A week ago, my sister came with her fiancé and said she wanted to talk," OP wrote. "She was very blunt and asked for the dress."
"I was taken aback...she said that, while the dress wasn't her favorite piece...it was something our mom wore and loved and she wants to wear it," OP continued. "I said absolutely not, that she had her chances and she can pick something else."
"She went absolutely ballistic, saying that the dress was hers because she was the oldest and that I have to suck it up, that I better give it up or else I'll be uninvited," OP added.
Last year, the average cost of a wedding in the United States was $28,000, according to The Knot.
The average engagement ring, which The Knot says can add another $6,000 to the final, remains the most-expensive, wedding-related, wearable item. But with the average cost of a wedding dress cresting $1,800 in 2021, and 93 percent of brides opting to buy brand-new, the perfect gown is sure to put a dent in the bank account.
For some brides, however, a second hand wedding dress is a cost effective choice and in many cases, a passed-down gown is a symbol of sentimentality.
Earlier this year, Insider spoke with a group of 13 brides who all opted to wear wedding dresses worn by their mothers, grandmothers or other relatives.
And while a handful of brides dished on the alterations and adjustments made to achieve the perfect fit, others spoke to the impact of wearing a dress handed down through generations on one of the most important days of their lives.
One bride, who said she altered her mother's wedding dress to closely mimic her grandmother's nuptial look, revealed how her choice to wear a generation-spanning dress moved her family emotionally.
"Family is very important to us, and knowing that I chose to incorporate such a special piece of family history into my wedding day made them very happy," she told Insider. "And I think proud."
Although the original poster noted that she doesn't plan to marry anytime soon, the 20-year-old made it clear she wanted to wear her mother's wedding dress as tribute. Throughout the viral post's comment section, Redditors assured the original poster she should be able to do so, and called out her sister for demanding the dress for herself.
"She sounds like an entitled bridezilla," Redditor u/No-Rub1544 wrote in the post's top comment, which has received nearly 9,000 votes.
"It's yours, if it was hers she would have it and wouldn't have to ask," they added. "She is entitled...not for asking, that would have been innocent [but] for demanding it after [saying] no, saying suck it up, and giving an ultimatum."
Redditor u/cursedroses, whose comment has received more than 2,000 votes, echoed that sentiment.
"[Not the a**hole] - the dress stopped being your mother's when she gifted it to you...End of story," they wrote. "Your dress, you said no, sister can suck it up."
In a separate comment, which has received more than 1,000 votes, Redditor u/Original_Rock5157 speculated that the original poster may never see her mother's dress again if she lends it to her sister.
"If you hadn't accepted the dress from your mother as a gift, it may have been long gone," they wrote. "You accepted it, kept it and planned to use it."
"Your sister 'borrowing it' could well mean the dress will end up stained or torn in some way, and her threatening to uninvite you and telling you to suck it up confirms that she might make sure the dress is unusable for you," they added. "She's got a year to figure out a dress and there are probably other people she can 'borrow' one from."
Newsweek reached out to u/Hot_Pilot_1537 for comment.
About the writer
Taylor McCloud is a Newsweek staff writer based in California. His focus is reporting on trending and viral topics. Taylor ... Read more