Ex-Scientologist Reveals What Happened When Church Found Out She Was Gay

A former member of the Church of Scientology has opened up about her experiences in the church as a LGBTQ+ person.

Rachael Hastings Adair served as a camerawoman for Scientology leader David Miscavige and shared behind the scenes insights of her time in the church with actress Leah Remini.

Remini, a former Scientologist, hosts the podcast Fair Game, alongside Mike Rinder. The trio discussed what Scientology claims its views about the LGBTQ+ community are publicly and whether that's different in reality.

Adair claimed members "have been taught that we [LGBTQ+ people] are dangerous and scary" and members of the church will treat "your entire existence this way and smile to your face." She also alleged that once Scientology leaders had learned she was gay, they forced her to marry a man.

A spokesperson for the Church of Scientology denied Adair and the podcast hosts' claims.

"The Church's position has always been clear: As a prominent advocate of human rights, the Church is on record as being opposed to discrimination of any sort, including on the basis of sexual orientation," the spokesperson said in a statement to Newsweek.

In their lengthy chat, Rinder quoted from publicly available Scientology books written by founder L. Ron Hubbard, which described same-sex attraction as a "perversion."

"The sexual pervert (and by this term dianetics, to be brief, includes any and all forms of deviation in Dynamic II such as homosexuality, lesbianism, sexual sadism, etc.) is actually quite ill physically," he wrote in his book Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health, which is still "mandatory reading" for modern Scientologists, according to Remini.

Dianetics refers to Hubbard's self-created psychological concept that separates the mind into three categories, including the "reactive mind," which Scientology aims to overcome because it clouds a person's ethics, thinking and happiness. The process to control the reactive mind in Scientology is known as "auditing."

On Remini's podcast, the trio discussed how LGBTQ+ members of the church are ordered to "audit the gay away," which is its own version of conversion therapy, a debunked psychological or religious practice used to attempt to change someone's sexual orientation or gender identity.

Rinder also referred to Hubbard's 1951 book Science of Survival: Prediction of Human Behavior, where he explained his "tone scale," classifying human behavior from 0-40.

Scientology's tone scale for those who practiced "promiscuity, perversion, sadism, irregular practices" was rated at 1.1. Remini explained that "anything below 2.0 on the scale means it is someone hell bent on destruction."

"1.1 is considered the most dangerous tone to be connected to you in your life... L. Ron says a 1.1 should be taken off to their own island and basically die," Remini explained.

Making Films

Adair shared how she was tapped to act in the church's Golden Era Productions wing to make "technical training films." But when going to complete her "clearances"— a hierarchical level of authority for members to work in different areas of the church— she was told if she had done any gay scenes as an actress she would lose her job.

"I had sold everything I had, I had committed... I was so green they gave me this billion year contract," Adair said about the shock she felt when she learned of the rules.

"I had also run into celebrity Scientologists saying extremely anti-gay things to me."

Scientologists must get permission to marry, but Adair said she wasn't allowed to date anyone or even "flirt" when she was traveling as a young woman.

After about seven or eight years as a Scientologist, Adair approached church authorities to ask to be in a relationship and they found a man for her to marry from a different country, but she was also "forced to get an IUD" because the church did not want her getting pregnant early on in her marriage.

"If they'd just let me practice lesbianism, there would be no chance of me getting pregnant," she said.

After "being forced into a sexual relationship," Adair went back to the church to say she did not want to be married any longer and revealed she was gay. According to the camerawoman, some members told her to keep it a secret but also ordered her to do specific church "programs" to "handle your gay problem."

She then alleged the church said an incident of sexual assault she experienced as a child was the reason Adair was unhappy in her marriage and believed she was gay.

Adair said she was forced to read passages about "sexual deviancy" in front of other church members who were making "homophobic jokes" and then had to covertly go to medical appointments because members were not allowed to get medical care outside the church.

"I was told by an ethics officer you cannot be gay in this organization," Adair said.

She also told how she left the church with the help of her family, but later had other members accost her promising it was now "ok to be gay" in Scientology.

Remini said of Scientology's public claims it supports LGBTQ+ people: "Stop talking about it and let's see it."

Adair was also handpicked by Miscavige to be her camerawoman because of her skill and she spoke about how he confronted her when she was trying to leave her arranged marriage.

"He pulls me into one of the studios and was like, 'why are you hiding from me?'" Adair said, and claimed Miscavige joked with her husband to "hang Rachael from the SNP tower so I can see her, because she's hiding from me."

Adair has not been the only person to leave the church over its LGBTQ+ policies.

Oscar-winning writer and director Paul Haggis was an active member for 35 years before he left in October 2009 over Scientology's comments regarding gay marriage.

"The church's refusal to denounce the actions of these bigots, hypocrites and homophobes is cowardly," Haggis wrote in an open letter addressed to then-spokesman Tommy Davis.

"I saw the organization - with all its warts, growing pains and problems - as an underdog. And I've always had a thing for underdogs. Despite all the church's words about promoting freedom and human rights, its name is now in the public record alongside those who promote bigotry, intolerance, homophobia and fear."

His letter ended: "I am only ashamed I waited this many months to act. I hereby resign my membership of the Church of Scientology."

In 2022, Haggis was ordered to a pay a woman $7.5 million after she accused him of rape while in Italy.

The screenwriter of Million Dollar Baby and Crash had claimed the accusations of rape were as a result of smear campaign by the church and whose claims were backed by Rinder and Remini when he appeared on their podcast.

The Church of Scientology refuted those claims in its most recent statement to Newsweek and described Remini and Rinder as "hatemongers and bigots with a documented record of malicious lies."

Update 9/27/23, 2:32 a.m. ET: This article was updated with a statement from the Church of Scientology and additional information.