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Mumsnet users warned a woman not to "self-sabotage," after she expressed disappointment with her new boyfriend's lack of planning skills.
In a post shared to the parenting site's relationship forum on June 29, user hotnakedgelato explained that she had been dating the man for four months, and things were getting serious. However, she was having second thoughts after he failed to organize her birthday dinner.
She wrote: "We have seemingly been crazy for each other (while not moving that quickly) and have a mutual understanding that we are moving into a serious LTR.
"My birthday is in less than two weeks. He asked a few weeks ago what my birthday preference is and I said acknowledgment and to be taken out for dinner.
"It's been crickets since then, until yesterday I finally pointed out that he hasn't asked if/when I am free. He said thanks for reminding him, he forgot."
According to a 2018 poll of 2,000 Americans, 35 percent of people surveyed said their significant other had forgotten their birthday. Unfortunately, the stereotype of the "forgetful husband" failing to remember his wife's birthday was supported by the study, with 52 percent of men admitting to the crime, compared to just 24 percent of women.
Mumsnet users seemed to think that hotnakedgelato was "overthinking" the situation.
"So this is someone you have only known for 3 months, who has already booked something for your birthday two weeks ahead (after a reminder)?" asked Hont1986.
"This is a total non-issue. He didn't forget your birthday. It sounds like you are actively looking to be disappointed."
Baileys6904 wrote: "Op, you're self sabotaging here.
"He didn't book something for your birthday 2 weeks off... That doesn't mean he's not thoughtful or semi interested, it means it wasnt on his radar after 4 months that you like to arrange childcare early.
"Let's not catastrophise too early on eh?"
While AnneLovesGilbert commented: "He's booked. He might have remembered by himself even without a prompt. Don't ruin it before it's even happened, just look forward to a fun night."
In the comments, the poster explained that she is a single parent, but her new partner isn't.
"It's essential to book my time ahead," she added. "I was trying to avoid being angry/disappointed by mentioning this.
"He now booked something, but I am very disappointed that I had to prompt him."
Users suggested that the situation may just be a simple misunderstanding.
"I'm a single parent, so I get the planning but not everyone has to do that in their lives so sometimes it's a bit of gentle nudging needed," said audweb.
"Our priority to be organised is sometimes much more than other people, but other people don't always see that."
Iamnotamermaid agreed, writing: "He will not have thought about child care logistics.
"But it is early days so I would not get too uptight about this, these things happen."
The woman isn't the only one whose birthday dilemma caused a stir online. Earlier this week, Mumsnet users urged a woman to ditch her "cruel" partner after he forgot her birthday, while the internet raged at a man "acting like a toddler" at his 40th birthday celebrations. Our experts also recently advised a reader whose wife hadn't given him a birthday or Christmas card—in 10 years.
About the writer
Sophie is a Newsweek Pop Culture and Entertainment Reporter based in Lincoln, UK. Her focus is reporting on film and ... Read more