Sibling Ditching Sister's Wedding After She 'Crossed a Line' Applauded

A bride's sibling has been praised for deciding to bail on the wedding after sharing that their late partner's birthday was on the same day.

Weddings are meant to bring families together, but in this case, a family has been torn apart over one member's decision not to attend.

In a viral post shared on Reddit's Am I The ******* page, user ForeignLack2272 explained that they would not attend their sister's wedding because they lost their partner in a "tragic accident" and her birthday has since become a somber day of reflection and a day to honor her memory.

But their sister Lucy announced that she had set her wedding day that happened to fall on Emily's birthday and claimed it was the only available date.

The Reddit user then explained: "I tried to talk to her, explain how painful it would be for me, but she dismissed my feelings, saying I should move on and that her wedding was more important than my 'lingering grief.' Her words cut deep, and our relationship started to fracture.

"Our parents sided with Lucy, arguing that I was being selfish and that family should come first. I felt trapped, angry, and betrayed. After many sleepless nights, I decided not to attend the wedding.

"Instead, I spent the day at Emily's graveside, feeling a mixture of relief and guilt. The fallout has been immense."

The Reddit user continued: "My family is furious, branding me as selfish and immature. Friends are divided, and I'm left questioning my decision. I love my sister, but I feel she crossed a line, disregarding my feelings and our shared history."

Zoe Burke, leading wedding expert and editor of Hitched.co.uk, told Newsweek: "Choosing a wedding date isn't something couples will go into lightly, and often they are restricted by availability from a range of different vendors, from their chosen wedding venue to catering to name but a few.

"Wedding dates will also impact the overall price of a wedding too. The summer is always the most popular time of year for people to get married, and so because of the demand, things are often more expensive for couples then. Choosing an off-peak wedding date can result in great discounts and savings for couples, which can often sway nearlyweds to choose otherwise random dates to get married.

"To be honest, with the amount of consideration that goes into choosing a wedding date, it may very well not have been a decision that was made lightly by the couple, but one that could not be avoided under the circumstances.

"While it's unfortunate that the chosen date is one that holds significant meaning to the family, there is just no way to avoid this sometimes, nor should couples be expected to consider every available date with a fine tooth comb to ensure it doesn't interfere with other people's plans.

"There are loads of ways to honor the memory of those who are unable to attend a wedding, from readings in their name, an empty place setting to show that they're in your thoughts, or even a toast to them in the wedding speeches."

According to the wedding planning website The Knot, the national average cost of a wedding in 2022 was $30,000, which represented a $2,000 increase from 2021.

Since being shared on Sunday, the post has attracted more than 10,200 upvotes and an estimated 2,200 comments.

The overwhelming majority of people who commented on the post were supportive of the Reddit user and felt her grief was normal.

Gdex86 said: "NTA (not the *******). First, for the death of a long-term romantic partner, two years is a flash in the pan. The idea that you have lingering grief now, especially on the anniversary of the death, is bull. It's still going to hurt something awful and on that day it's going to be especially sensitive. You aren't being selfish, you are taking care of yourself."

Monkeying_around369 added: "It's not lingering grief at two years. It's very active grief."

While PunPukurin commented: "Their saying family comes first is so cruel. The fiancée would have been a part of the family if it were not for the tragic accident. She was basically family to OP [original poster]."

Newsweek has contacted ForeignLack2272 for comment via Reddit.

Has a wedding come between your relationship with a loved one? Let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.