Woman Announcing Pregnancy in Front of Infertile Couple Backed: 'Their Joy'

A woman sharing the story of an uncomfortable family gathering has been criticized online. In a post on Reddit, which already has over 13,000 upvotes, user throwawannouncement asked: "Am I the a****** for calling my sister selfish for announcing her pregnancy at our parents' house?"

She goes on to explain that she and her husband have had a long struggle with infertility. "We have been getting treated and trying for a baby since 2017," she said, "But nothing worked! My husband is understandably devastated as he'd always wanted kids but never got the chance to be a father."

Explaining that "he's super sensitive around the topic," she goes on to say she and her husband recently joined her family, who know about their infertility struggles, for dinner. "All of a sudden, my sister and her husband announced they were expecting. We were stunned, me and my husband I mean. As for the others they were thrilled. As everyone got up to congratulate them. My husband got up, pushed his chair to the side and walked out."

For those who want children, infertility issues can be devastating. As reported by UCLA Health, "infertility has come to be defined as the inability to conceive within 12 months" and infertility affects 15 percent of couples attempting to conceive in the U.S.

The aforementioned scenario caused a rift between the poster and her family. She called her sister selfish and cruel, and was eventually asked to leave by her mother. "My parents think I've reacted poorly and should apologize to my sister on both mine and my husband's behalf after the scene we made at their home," she wrote.

Newsweek spoke to Jeffrey R. Gardere, association professor of behavioral medicine the at Touro College of Osteopathic Medicine in New York.

"Though it is completely understandable that this couple are extremely sensitive and distraught over the long struggle with infertility, they both overreacted, which put a damper on what should have been a joyous occasion. And yes, that does call for an apology. It is easy to think that the sister and brother-in-law were being selfish and insensitive. But the reality may be that they were just too excited and happy to keep the news to themselves, as anyone would be, if they had that kind of good news to share.

"It's always easy to assume that people know what you are feeling and going through, but a lot of people hear the words but may not fully understand the pain. That level of empathy requires deeper conversations and more time together sharing emotions. That being said, it is understandable to expect that the sister and her husband in this situation be a little more thoughtful and sensitive. So yes, this was an unfortunate set of events on both sides of the situation, where everyone acted on impulse and did not think through the consequences of their intentions and behaviors. But, this could be a teachable moment. The lesson here may be that we should consider other people's feelings or circumstances when making announcements that are sure to impact them.

"Finally, let me remind you that therapy can be very helpful in helping you stay positive and hopeful. Without it, if it has not happened already, the negative emotions you are both feeling may begin to affect your relationship in unhealthy ways."

Despite being voted an a****** by Reddit, users were split over how to react to the situation.

User ElectronicRub1716 commented: "YTA [You're the a****** sorry. Unfortunate situation but where else is your sister supposed to announce that she's pregnant? Or is she supposed to keep it a secret?".

User eevreen wrote: "A lot of folks who have family struggling with infertility tell theinfertile couple first or at least separately so they can break the news gently".

User Slappybags22 said: "Yeah, I dealt with infertility while all my friends/family were having babies every other second. Of course it stung. But that's not their sting to deal with. You don't get to put your burdens on everyone else."

Newsweek reached out to u/throwawannouncement for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.