Woman Who Refused to Attend Sister's Wedding to Her College Crush Slammed

A Reddit user has revealed that she was cut out of her family's lives because the man she married had been her youngest sister's college crush. In a post that has been upvoted more than 8,000 times, user ColumbianaMana explained that her three sisters and her parents refused to attend her wedding—even though the youngest sister is already married and has a baby.

ColumbianaMana said her husband went to college with her youngest sister and "she had a crush on him since day one. He was all she talked about." The year they met, the sister invited him and some other college friends to spend December 26 with her family.

As soon as ColumbianaMana met the man, sparks flew. "We had sex that same night and I felt horrible," she wrote in Reddit's TrueOffMyChest forum. "My sister eventually moved on. She met her husband and she got married last summer."

In the intervening years, ColumbianaMana sporadically met up with the man—and at one of those meetings, he told her he loved her. They both tried dating other people but nothing stuck.

"We met again 'officially' on my sister's wedding, she had invited all her college friends," the woman wrote. At this point, "he asked me to stop running away and we started dating secretly. A year later he proposed. Now I had to tell my family. I have never endured so much hate and isolation in my whole life."

Her parents and sisters were unimpressed, even though they didn't know the whole story.

"I lied to them. I told them that we met at my sister's wedding and we hit it off. I never told them how I've been in love with him for almost a decade and that we have met at least once a year since that Christmas and they've been the best days of my life.

"My sister is happily married and she just had her baby. Still she told me she hated me and never wanted anything to do with me. My family shared the same sentiment. That I'm a horrible person."

Her husband supported her, telling her he didn't care about the wedding if it was going to upset her and that they had wasted too much time being unhappy apart. "We didn't chose to fall for each other."

In a later comment, ColumbianaMana conceded that she had misjudged the strength of her sister's feelings and is no longer sure she ever got over her crush. She added: "I haven't spoken to my sister's husband in months but from what I've heard, he's not happy about her reaction and things aren't going so well with them. This is also added to why my family is angry, because I caused the rift between my sister and brother-in-law."

Sibling Rivalry

Cases of sibling rivalry and envy are common. According to a 2016 study in the Journal of Scientific and Innovative Research, sibling rivalry affects 30 to 60 percent of children, leading to such behaviors as "jealousy, fighting, teasing, kicking, hitting, biting, meanness and competitiveness."

For about a quarter of children, these behaviors can last into adulthood. Reddit commenters were saddened by this story of a family torn apart by those feelings. Many expressed their sympathy for the youngest sister's husband. One wrote: "How sad. She had a crush on him 10 years ago? And now she's married with children? Her poor man must feel really special now."

Others pointed out how unreasonable the sister was being. "Imagine calling dibs on a car seat," one posted, "then sitting in a different seat, but still refusing to let somebody else sit in the one you called dibs for. Everyone would think you're absolutely ridiculous. And that's a car seat, not a human."

Congratulations

Many Redditors urged ColumbianaMana to focus on the positive, offering her the good wishes her family had not. "Congratulations anyway your family will come around once they see this is the real deal" said one user.

The original poster replied: "Thank you. It hurt not to have my mom and sisters. I hope this is worth it."

Another user wrote: "You owe it to yourself to find out if it was, it's been 10 years, congratulations on your marriage."

One Redditor said the woman deserved to "live [her] life and be happy," whatever her sister thought.

She added: "Your sister is a bit psycho. She had a crush and it wasn't returned. She moved on and you guys fell in love. She clearly isn't over it or she wouldn't care. Your family is being ridiculous too. Life is short and you deserve your own happiness.

"You know sleeping with him that first night when you knew your sister liked him wasn't right, but you tried to make up for that since."