Are You Sober Curious? Three Women Share Benefits of Going Teetotal in 20's

While hedonistic youngsters spending their early adulthood binge drinking is a well-established societal norm, today's youth appear to have adopted a very different approach to alcohol.

For many among Generation Z, health and wellness has become a much bigger priority than excessive partying, with several choosing to reduce their alcohol intake massively or quit altogether.

The change in attitude towards drinking has created a new breed of 'sober' social media influencer—with the hashtag "Sober Curious" viewed over 105 million times, while the phrase "Sober TikTok" has received a massive 589 million views.

According to the 2019 National Survey on Drug Use and Health, over one-quarter of U.S. adults over the age of 18 surveyed had engaged in binge drinking in the past month.

Meanwhile, research published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine, the Covid-19 pandemic has increased the prevalence of excessive drinking among adults.

Speaking to Newsweek, three women, from the U.S. and U.K., opened up about why they chose to quit alcohol, the challenges they've faced, and the positive impact going sober has had on their lives.

I quit alcohol for my health...now I'm happier than ever

Tasmin Lofthouse, 29, from Lancashire, in the UK, gave up drinking for medical reasons during her last year of college, and has now been sober for around nine years.

Like many students, Tasmin was caught up in the heavy drinking culture at university— but would often find herself getting extremely sick after consuming alcohol.

She had been suffering from migraines and put the negative side effects of alcohol down to various medications, at one point vomiting for 24 hours before throwing up blood after a drinking session.

She told Newsweek: "I was getting really ill but not fully making the connection, just thinking it's a really bad hangover. It probably took me about six months to think 'I should probably stop drinking because it's not doing me any good'."

While her final months at university were spent studying for exams, Tasmin struggled without alcohol after returning home—struggling to spend time with her friends sober while they were all drinking.

"For me it was really difficult, she said. "I struggled a lot with anxiety during that period, I think it probably came from the fact that when you go on these nights out I was the only sober person, so on a completely different level to other people.

"I just felt really uncomfortable and out of place, because I guess you've got that mask of alcohol to give you that confidence."

There were times Tasmin didn't go out with her friends, admitting she felt "very alienated" after she initially quit alcohol.

She added: "They were pushing for me to come out because they still wanted to spend time with me, but a lot of what we did during that age revolved around drinking. That wasn't an environment I felt comfortable in anymore."

She says that it took two or three years to feel totally comfortable with being sober around people drinking, but that even now she gets questioned by friends who tell her 'Oh just have one'.

"Back then I really struggled with it," she said. "A lot of people didn't understand and kind of implied I was boring if I didn't drink. I used to get really upset when people used to push me, whereas now I just think 'I'm not explaining it to you'.

"For me, at the weekend I no longer have to worry about waking up with a completely blacked out memory, not knowing what I did the night before, that post-night our fear you sometimes get from drinking too much.

"My weekends are properly for myself, not stolen by the fact that if you go out Friday night you'll have a hangover on Saturday. My social life doesn't revolve around drinking. I spend time doing things I really enjoy rather than drinking because I feel like I have to."

Alcohol added nothing to my life, now I make the most of everyday

Lucy Jeffrey, 27, from London, instantly disliked alcohol when she drank her first alcopop at a friend's birthday as a teenager, turned off by the taste and thought of losing control of her faculties.

"I remember not liking it," she said. "It was obviously a weird thing, if you're not used to the feeling of losing control, but then as everyone was drinking and you start getting used to that feeling, you go with it. I do remember not enjoying it when I first started, but you force yourself which is kind of horrendous."

As Lucy reached university she began drinking socially during club nights and sports socials, admitting that while she maintained a healthy relationship with alcohol, she only ever drank to get drunk.

"I had very good limits", she said. "I'd drink on most social occasions, we'd go out a couple of times a week. I played sports so there was quite a big drinking culture there.

"I would always drink and have a good time, it didn't do anything bad. It didn't affect my relationships or work, but I would still drink every week, once or twice a week."

After leaving university Lucy's drinking "matured", with the business owner beginning to enjoy smaller quantities of alcohol on fewer occasions, for pleasure rather than getting drunk.

"My relationship with alcohol definitely changed as I grew up. The hangovers only got worse. I was more conscious of the next day, I started going out less, I didn't really like a night out as much.

"I settled into work, but I never drank at work events. That was my line, where I thought 'I don't want to be out of control'. I drank more for pleasure, a nice glass of red wine, we'd go away and go on a wine tour. I'd very rarely get drunk to the level I did at university."

Despite never being a heavy drinker, Lucy was inspired to try out a sober lifestyle after reading a memoir that inspired her to try an exercise determining how many days she likely had left to live.

She said: "I just decided there and then I couldn't do another day hungover. I like drinking and it's a social thing, but just did not want to lose another Sunday just because I'd had too many drinks. One glass of wine affects my sleep and I won't be 100 percent the next day."

Lucy, who runs an online store selling sustainable socks, decided to try 100 days without alcohol as a transition, admitting it was mainly to ease friends into her new lifestyle, rather than herself.

She explained: "People would get defensive. Kind of like: 'You're not drinking, why? Can I drink around you?' and I would be like 'Do what you want!'. The 100 days thing actually positioned it much better with them because it was just like 'I'm trying it'."

However, after just 100 days, Lucy noticed an overwhelming difference in her physical and mental health, revealing: "I just felt so good all the time".

She added: "It's gotten to the point where even having one would make me anxious about the next day. I think for my mental health alcohol is the best thing for it. Not that I was a big drinker or had problems with alcohol, it just didn't add anything to my life."

When it comes to alcohol-heavy social events, Lucy says that while at times it may feel isolating to be sober, she quickly realizes that she can have an equally good time without drinking alcohol.

"Everyone thinks the worst thing is being around drunk people when you're not drinking, but on the few occasions where I was around other people drinking, I had such a fantastic night regardless and it made me realize I don't need it at all."

Speaking of a recent hen party she attended, Lucy went on: "The only time I missed it was right at the start when everyone toasted. It makes no difference what's in my glass, but you do miss that buzz, everyone is about to start drinking.

"However, for the rest of the night, you wouldn't have noticed any difference, you get into the swing of it and feel the same as everyone else. Maybe sometimes you feel more self-conscious but you start to realize that everyone else is drinking so they don't really notice what you're doing."

Life without alcohol gave me the confidence to start a business

Sophie Miller, 25, from Cheltenham, in the UK, decided to quit alcohol four years ago, after leaving her job as an events coordinator and heading to college as a mature student.

Before university, she had been spending weekends enjoying a few drinks with friends —but noticed that as a student the majority of social events revolved around alcohol.

"I wanted to look after myself," she said. "I had stepped out of a full-time role to head to university and being surrounded by drinking culture every day of the week, seeing the health implications of that, how it negatively affected people's studies and just the lifestyle it brings with it, kind of just opened my eyes".

Sophie found it difficult to quit at first, revealing it wasn't ditching alcohol itself, but dealing with an incessant need to justify her decision to her peers that she found tough.

She explained: "It was the questions. 'Why aren't you drinking? Just have one!' I don't think anyone in my circle has ever seen it in a negative way, but constantly having to justify your choice because it is something so normalized felt really difficult."

Sophie admitted that while she occasionally feels a sense of "FOMO" when it comes to being sober, but not relying on alcohol as a social crutch has forced her to become a far more confident person.

"Especially when you're first making that decision and your circle revolves around drinking, I think it can be really isolating," she said. "Now I feel I have grown into a much more confident person, so I'm quite happy to say it as it is and tell people."

When she was drinking Sophie experienced stomach aches, bloating, and poor complexion—however now feels healthier than ever, and makes the most of her time without spending weekends nursing a hangover.

She founded her own business, Pretty Little Marketer, in June 2020 and credits her sobriety with giving her real confidence to network.

She said: "I am now a business owner and have attended a few business events [sober]. I'm quite introverted, so it can be quite scary. In the past, it would be easier to have a glass or two of liquid courage, but now it's just me, Sophie, the real person.

Sharing her advice for the sober curious, she went on: "I would say to take baby steps. When you go out and you typically have four drinks, try having two or one, work up to it.

"Talk about it, I didn't know there were so many people out there who considered being sober or hadn't drank ever, or hadn't drank in years. I think there are bigger conversations about it, start small and see how it goes."