Spouse Dragged for Not Helping Husband During Family Emergency

A popular internet forum's members were outraged when a spouse detailed the moment a husband was left without help or support during a family emergency.

In a viral Reddit post, u/SquarePoint4234 explained they have two children aged 17 and 19 from a previous relationship, and they share a 3-year-old son with their husband who was looking after him while the original poster (OP) went out for lunch.

During this time, the OP's father-in-law had a "medical emergency," but both teenage stepchildren refused to babysit their stepbrother and the OP "couldn't leave lunch" as their brother was visiting town with his new girlfriend.

As a result, the husband has canceled their Christmas getaway and 22,900 Redditors believe he is doing the right thing.

Newsweek spoke to a relationship expert who said "a crisis can create the perfect storm to discover if you are supported in your time of greatest need."

Explaining their story, the OP wrote: "My husband ended up taking our son with him to the hospital and his mom watched him from there.

"He came home and was lashing out [at] everybody [and] calling us selfish and unfeeling. I tried to explain that the kids were busy, but he told me to get the f out with that bull because my older son could've skipped the hangout and watched his brother and, my daughter could've watched her brother while studying instead of locking herself in her room.

"He yelled some more than told us that he was canceling the family holiday trip for Christmas this year. The two older kids were upset and said it was unfair. I called him unreasonable to cancel the trip and punish the kids (and possibly me) like that. He refused to discuss it later."

Blended Families

A blended family is when two families become one—usually it involves children from a previous relationship and their mom or dad remarrying.

The 2019 American Community Survey estimated 59.5 million biological children and 2.4 million stepchildren out of 32.5 million householders.

HelpGuide.org, a nonprofit guide to mental health and wellness, has outlined how to make a blended family a success:

• Being civil and avoiding ignoring and purposely hurting one another.
• Compassion for everyone's development as members of the new family may be at different stages in their life due to their age.
• All relationships are respectful meaning everyone should respect one another.

Expert Advice

Newsweek spoke to Sally Baker, an award-winning senior therapist and author of The Getting of Resilience from the Inside Out, about the viral Reddit post.

She said: "A crisis is often accompanied by feelings of heightened emotion in particular anguish and anxiety. He will also have been feeling vulnerable along with feelings of being overwhelmed.

"A crisis can create the perfect storm to discover if you are supported in your time of greatest need. The husband felt abandoned by those he felt should have been his closest allies. The husband's response has been brutal and unapologetic. His behavior is informed by the immense righteous sense of betrayal he feels. From his standpoint, there was no one there for him when the chips were down including his wife and step-children.

"As this failure of support originated when he was in a heightened state of anxiety the response will rarely be logical or even proportionate. He has been cut to the quick and it could take a great deal to repair the emotional damage suffered by the unquestioning trust he felt should have been there for him. Of the three family members, his wife should have canceled her plans and gone to his aid by looking after the child they share. The selfishness of the almost adult stepchildren he shares his home with is deeply disappointing but speaks of wider family issues."

What Do the Comments Say?

The top comment has received over 62,000 upvotes, it said: "You're the a******. Let's fix the title of your post: My husband canceled our holiday trip because my kids & I are unreasonable & he just found out that we couldn't care less about him or his family."

"They apparently don't care about their family either as, presumably, [the] younger child is her son and older children's brother. It boggles the mind," said another comment racking up 14,800 upvotes.

Another person said: "It really does. Like...if I were the 17 or 16-year-old, I would have been EXPECTED to help out. Even the THOUGHT of saying no would never have crossed my mind. OP, YTA. And you're raising your kids to be that way too."

Newsweek reached out to u/SquarePoint4234 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.