Stay Safe While Dating: Tips from an LGBTQ App Used in Anti-Gay Regimes

In the age of social media, a popular way to meet new people is through dating apps. Companies including Bumble, Hinge, Tinder and Hornet are just some of the many apps you can download to potentially find "the one."

When going out and meeting someone new, it is important to keep your safety in mind. Stephan Horbelt, the executive editor at Hornet, an international dating app for members of the LGBTQ community, told Newsweek about how to keep yourself safe on dates in a world of anti-gay regimes. These safety tips can also help anyone out there looking to find love.

"We do a lot of outreach around safety to our users, though much of it is intended to help combat malicious state actors looking to harm queer people. But it's interesting how keeping a young queer guy in Indonesia or Turkey safe during a date or hookup encounter and ensuring a young woman here in the States stays safe on a date—they're not all that far off," Horbelt said.

The International Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Intersex Organization (IGLA) reported in 2020 that there are 69 United Nations member states with strict rules that can take legal action over someone being gay, from imprisonment to the death penalty.

In research done by YouGov RealTime, researchers found that about one in five women always or often feels unsafe when going on a first date and 61 percent of women take caution on a daily basis to avoid being sexually assaulted.

Located on Hornet's website, it created a list of ways you can stay safe before and during a first date.

Before the date

• Agree to meet in a public setting where you feel safe.
• Avoid bringing anything valuable on a first date.
• Verify that you are talking to the person that is in the photos on their profile. Many apps have verification options that can be used to confirm someone's identity. Video chatting is also an option.
• Be wary of their social media accounts: check who they're following, how many photos they published and how often they post.
• Always trust your gut.
• Before meeting in person, tell your friends about the person you're talking to.
• Share your location with trusted family or friends.

During the date

• Avoid getting drunk or using drugs on a first date.
• If you decide to go home with your date, use your phone to look up the address and text a trusted friend or family member the address.
• Always remember that it is okay to say no if you're uncomfortable.
• Have an exit strategy: arrange for a friend to call you so you can get out of your date by saying there was an emergency.
• Be extra cautious if you are offered food or drinks at your date's home.

What is an "angel shot"?

If you are an avid TikTok watcher, you may have come across videos of bartenders or others discussing the "angel shot."

An angel shot is something that you can order at the bar in order to signal to the bartender that you feel unsafe. There are three types of angel shots that you can order:

1. Angel shot with lime means you need the police involved.
2. Angel shot neat means that you want someone—security, employee or bartender—to walk you to your car.
3. Angel shot on the rocks means you need the restaurant/bar staff to call a taxi or rideshare to get you home.

"Even though 'safety while dating' will never stop being an important concern—and one that platforms like Hornet have a responsibility to champion—for many queer people the idea of taking precautions before a first-time meeting has been ingrained in us," Horbelt said.