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A mother has split opinions online since finding out her step-son is moving in and sharing a room with his step-brother.
The mom explained in a post to popular forum Mumsnet, that her son is aged 14 and her step-son is 15. Until now, her step-son has lived with his mom five hours away, but since she's got a new job abroad, he's decided to stay with his dad, who the poster has a daughter with too.
"[My step-son's] bio mother has had an offer for a job in another country and it would be crazy for her not to take it," wrote the mom in her post.
"She will be away for three years but will come back for periods of time and the original idea was for [my step-son] to come with her but last minute he has had a change of heart and doesn't want to go anymore so of course me and my partner offered for him to stay at our until she's back."
There is only a three-month age difference between her step-son and son, she explained, meaning they will be in the same year at school "which my son is not best pleased about."
With the family having a three-bedroom house, the two teens will be sharing.
According to research by CBS, 72 percent of Americans 65 and older shared a bedroom with a sibling growing up, but the arrangement isn't quite as common nowadays. Just half of adults under 35 in the same survey had ever shared a bedroom with their sibling.
Experts suggest that benefits exist for siblings sharing a room. Laura Markham, clinical psychologist and author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Sibling told the Chicago Tribune that sharing a room can help strengthen a sibling bond, thanks to pre-bedtime chats.
For the step-siblings it the Mumsnet post, it doesn't look so hopeful.
"I think having to take my step-son under his wing is making my son annoyed, which I've questioned why and he doesn't have a reason why not, he just doesn't [like it]," she said.
"My step-son is staying at ours no matter what and everyone else is happy about it. Am I being unreasonable expecting my son to be okay with this (I get this is a massive change for everyone) he's just acting like this will 'ruin his life' and I don't want my step-son to have to feel unwelcome in our home."
Despite having benefits, sleep experts also note that sharing a room as children get older can be far harder and teens often want their own space. If it's not possible, Markham said that sectioning off the room or curtaining beds can give a degree of privacy.
The post polarized readers, who argued each and every side of the dilemma.
Some took the side of the poster's son, saying that the change is a big one that impacts him mainly, during a key time in his life.
"You're expecting your son to essentially share not only his room but his entire life with your step-son. When does he get any time or space away from him? Not at school, not at home. Couples who have chosen to be in a relationship together get more space from each other," wrote one user.
Others, however, looked at it from the step-son's point of view, expressing sympathy for him being at being dumped into a tricky situation.
"Poor step-son," noted one user. "His mother is leaving for three years, he's being farmed off to a father he rarely sees, so doesn't know. He has to try to learn a new family life and all that goes with living in a new family, change of location, home, bedroom, suddenly has two parent figures and two step-siblings he barely knows and has to share a private bedroom space with one of them.
"If all that can be managed, you then throw in a new school where the only other boy he knows doesn't want to help him settle in."
"I feel sorry for both boys," reasoned another user. "The school thing is the least of the issues here. Making a couple of teenagers who barely know each other share a bedroom just at the age when they really want their privacy is horrible for both of them."
"Your son has to give up his privacy and his space and your step-son is being uprooted at a really tricky point in his education, friendships etc.
"I appreciate there is nothing you and your partner can do about this—it's not like you're responsible for your step-son's mom's career choices—and of course he should be with his dad if he can't be with his mum. So you are not being unreasonable to have your step-son move in, but you are being unreasonable to expect your son to be pleased with the arrangement.
"They barely know each other, and there is no reason why they'd be expected to have a brotherly (or even friendly) relationship, any more than two boys with no family connection would," they added.
The room situation struck a nerve with many, and left most suggesting alternative arrangements.
"I think you seriously need to reconsider the sleeping arrangements," noted one user.
"While you are sorting out splitting the room, your step-son should have your room and share with your partner and you [should sleep on] the sofa or share with your daughter. Or you buy a second hand or in stock of a bed as a temp measure for you and your partner. The boys need their own rooms regardless of how you do it.
"It is a massive change for your son to start sharing a room with someone he barely knows as a teenager and you are being really unreasonable to not consider this. You and your partner should be the ones put out of place whilst you put in place a long-term solution."
The mom shared in an update that the original plans had been changed, with her son moving into his sister's room for now, with a storage unit being used to separate the space. She and her partner plan bonding time with the children in the next few weeks and the son has since agreed to walk to school with his step-brother in the mornings.
Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the story.
