'Stop Nagging': Man Slammed for Refusing to Move Out of Ex's Apartment

Members of a popular internet forum were quick to defend one university student who said their ex-boyfriend refused to move out of their apartment—until he became too uncomfortable with the tense living arrangement.

In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/randomAITAexproblems (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) explained that the former couple separated amicably but detailed how the situation soured after they both began dating other people.

Titled, "[Am I the a**hole] for making my ex uncomfortable so he will move out?" the post received nearly 14,000 votes and 1,000 comments before it was taken down by forum moderators.

Writing that the relationship had simply "run its course," the original poster said their break up went smoothly and that their now ex-boyfriend agreed to move out of their shared apartment, as OP's name is on the lease and they lived there first.

After three months, however, the original poster said their ex still hadn't taken a single step towards moving out.

"I tried to talk to him about it and he said he would go when he was good and ready and to stop nagging him," OP wrote. "I can start legal proceedings, but with the courts backed up I'll still be stuck with him for months, if not longer."

To put pressure on their unwanted roommate, the original poster said they started dating someone new and making his presence well-known throughout the apartment.

"I've been bringing him back to my place to spend the night a bunch," OP wrote. "We're not doing anything sexy in the shared areas, but it's clear why he's coming over."

"Ex told me he was uncomfortable with this, but I've kept doing it," OP continued. "This morning he angrily told me that he was moving out to his buddy's place and he hoped I was happy."

"Honestly, I am happy," OP added. "But our mutual friends say that I'm wrong to drive him out of a place he's legally entitled to stay."

As inflation rates skyrocket and the cost of living ascends to never-before-seen heights, affordable housing has become increasingly difficult to find for all age demographics.

For young people just getting started on their own, however, the willingness to adapt to unique housing arrangements can save money and write tales that will be told for years to come.

However, alongside unique housing arrangements are potentially-tense living situations, like moving back in with parents or, even more awkward, continuing to stay with an ex for months after a breakup.

Last decade, a Rent.com survey revealed that 38 percent of U.S. renters lived with a former romantic partner, and 33 percent of those renters said they were forced to stay because of a lack of affordable housing elsewhere.

Understandably uncomfortable, living with an ex is often a last resort and ultimately unhealthy for people attempting to move forward with their lives.

"Living with an ex leaves people with a sense of what's called ambiguous loss," psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Marisa Franco told Shondaland in early 2020. "Ambiguous loss occurs when people can't achieve full closure and end up in a stage of limbo, wherein negative feelings about the relationship get plugged up instead of released."

Throughout their viral Reddit post, OP described a similar situation, noting that both she and her ex-boyfriend were conflicted about living together while dating other people.

But unlike exes who quickly move apart to gain some form of closure, the original poster assured that her ex had no concrete plan to leave—something many Redditors responding to the viral post questioned.

"Honestly, why would he want to stay there, if not to just drive you crazy?" Redditor u/RoyallyOakie asked in a comment which has received nearly 5,000 votes.

"[It's] creepy he wants to continue living with you indefinitely," Redditor u/Fainora added, receiving more than 1,600 votes.

In the post's top comment, which has received more than 18,000 votes, Redditor u/Therezna offered a more-aggressive perspective.

"[Not the a**hole]. He should have moved out when you asked nicely," they asserted. "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes."

"He wasn't planning on moving out," Redditor u/bucketofnope42 chimed in, receiving more than 1,300 votes. "He should have been on his friend's couch the first night."