Student, 20, Running Family Home Praised for Moving Out: 'Just Don't Care'

Members of a popular internet forum rallied behind one 20-year-old college student who vacated her family's home when nobody was looking.

In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, Redditor u/Safe_Translator4967 (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said she took on a parental role for her siblings when she was in high school and detailed her refusal to carry on as a household caretaker.

Titled, "[Am I the a**hole] for moving out while my parents are on vacation[?]" the post has received nearly 18,500 upvotes and 2,000 comments since October 17.

"I have three siblings who live at home," OP began. "I am the only one who cleans, makes food and takes care of the dogs."

Continuing to explain that she is also responsible for grocery shopping, the original poster said her parents have long pushed her needs aside in favor of her three brothers, and admitted the pressure of maintaining her household and pursuing a college education was "wrecking" her.

The original poster also said that, knowing her grandparents pay her tuition, she devised a plan to get out.

"My boyfriend has talked to his parents and they are letting me move into the apartment over their garage," OP wrote.

"My parents went away this weekend for NASCAR in Vegas. It is their third vacation this year," OP continued. "I grabbed my laptop, clothes and a few other things I have...and I left.

"[My parents] drove straight home...everyone is mad at me for being so immature and thoughtless...my older brother says I am an a**hole because my parents are making him do everything," OP added. "[But] I just don't care anymore."

There has long been an expectation for adult children to move out of their family's home after graduating high school and finding work, or after completing their college education.

However, as a result of pandemic-related lapses in education and employment, rising inflation rates and astronomical housing costs, a far greater number of young people are living with their parents than in previous generations.

This year, data published by the U.S. Census Bureau showed that nearly 60 percent of young adults ages 18 to 24 still live with parents.

But while Pew Research Center reports that financial issues are the chief reason for such arrangements, and there is greater possibility for financial relief with more than two earners under the same roof, children living at home into adulthood poses certain risks.

"Usually the scenarios I see are [that] the kid won't get up, won't do anything...[and] is 'sponging' off the parents," psychologist and 10 Days to a Less Defiant Child author Jeffrey Bernstein, Ph.D., told Newsweek.

"Not motivated," he added. "Self destructing by passivity."

When the circumstances are the opposite, however, and an adult child is expected to act as an extension of their parents, there is the potential for substantial future growth—but only when familial relationships are tended to, and everyone is on the same page.

"People like this end up becoming incredibly responsible [and] juggle multiple things," Bernstein said.

"They may feel like a lot was given to them...but they tend to become 'do-ers' in cases where they have good, give and take relationships with their parents," Bernstein added.

Throughout the comment section of the viral Reddit post, many Redditors agreed that the original poster's relationship with her parents was not good, and involved much more taking than giving by her parents.

"I'm sorry for [their] attitudes," Redditor u/Jstrangways wrote in the post's top comment, which has received nearly 20,000 upvotes. "Maybe they'll change, maybe they won't — but by not being there they will have to face up to all you did around the house for them."

"Good for you for getting out of that situation," Redditor u/DinaFelice added, receiving nearly 6,000 upvotes.

Redditor u/Helia-axis, whose comment has received more than 2,000 upvotes, also defended the original poster.

"Basically my interpretation is that because you are the girl of the family, you were expected to carry the responsibilities of your parents, older brother and younger brothers," they wrote. "And now that you're gone your brother is upset because he doesn't get to be lazy anymore."

"Love how your parents are now making your brother do all your former duties," Redditor u/nariac- chimed in, receiving nearly 4,000 upvotes.

"[Not the a**hole]," they added.

Newsweek has reached out to u/Safe_Translator4967 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.