Student Refusing to Use College Fund for Stepbrother's Medical Bills Backed

Having a college fund is a huge relief for many, but this student has explained the awful situation they have found themselves in, torn between future financial security and a moral duty to help their sick stepbrother.

In a viral Reddit post, shared by user u/ThrowRA77474 last month, the poster explained that following their parents' divorce many years ago, their mom grappled with climbing the career ladder and being the sole income earner. Despite that, the poster adds that she was still "able to contribute a substantial amount of money" for college savings.

While the poster's mom continued putting money aside, the dad "did not contribute as much," but now he's asked the poster if he can borrow some of that money. The dad's younger son, 10, has been diagnosed with kidney disease and the treatment isn't covered by insurance.

The post reads: "My dad is drowning in medical debt, so my mom agreed he no longer needed to pay child support."

It continued: "The specialist suggested a different treatment for my brother, as most other treatments didn't help or stopped working, and they are running out of options short of a transplant. This treatment is not covered by insurance and costs a lot. My dad can't take out a loan due to debt.

"Dad and his wife sat me down when I was over, and asked if I would be willing to let them borrow my college fund to pay off my brother's treatment. They offered to pay the money back, but I knew they wouldn't be able to."

Despite the expensive medical costs, the poster adds that they "don't want to give them the money," because it's vital for covering college expenses. The rejection has left the dad and his new wife furious, but the poster doesn't "want to risk [their] own future."

Following the discussion, the poster's mom reached a compromise, as she "withdrew the exact amount [the] dad put in over the years." However, generous as that was, the dad still wasn't satisfied as he felt it wasn't enough.

Sammie Ellard-King, a personal finance adviser at Up The Gains, told Newsweek that when money is set aside for a specific purpose, it can be tempting to use it to cover other expenses, but it should only be utilized for its intended purpose.

"This is an emotionally charged situation where the lines between moral and financial obligations are blurred. From a financial standpoint, the money in the college fund is for the purpose of education and should be used for that purpose, unless absolutely necessary," he said. "The father's request, albeit fueled by a dire situation, is a deviation from the intended purpose of the fund. Education is a key stepping stone to a better future, and the poster shouldn't have to compromise that due to circumstances beyond their control."

Ellard-King also explained that the "onus of responsibility" falls upon the dad, and as the older sibling, the Redditor shouldn't bear the financial burden.

Reactions to the Reddit post have been profuse, with over 14,900 votes and 3,900 comments since it was shared to the Am I the A****** (AITA) thread.

Among the hundreds of comments, one person responded: "The money isn't yours, firstly. It was allocated by your mother for a specific thing. You're damn right you're not getting the money back if you loan them. It was grossly inappropriate for your father to ask for money from you."

Another person commented: "So much respect for OP's [original poster's] mom for doing what she did. I would not release those funds to the child of my husband's affair. I hope the child gets treatment, but not on her dime."

Newsweek reached out to u/ThrowRA77474 via Reddit for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.

If you have a family dilemma, let us know via life@newsweek.com. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.