I'm 6-Foot-3 and Thought I'd Never Find Love—Now I'm Marrying a Shorter Man

The phrase "tall, dark, and handsome" is often found in romantic fiction aimed at women. But sayings like this almost cost Jemma Banham a chance at love—because she was led to believe in a stereotype that women can't be taller than their partners.

Banham, who is 6 feet and 3 inches tall, spent most of her high school and early college years on a quest to find a tall man. Her efforts were to no avail and she began to believe she might never find "the one." Until Noah Sorenson, who is 5 feet 10 inches, came along in July 2019.

Now, four years on, the couple, from Atlanta, Georgia, are engaged and Sorenson is still unfazed by their 5-inch height difference.

"Growing up, guys would say, 'You are really pretty but you are too tall,' which translated to me as my height makes me ugly," Banham, 24, told Newsweek.

She added: "I always felt pressured to date a man taller than me. At one point, that was the main characteristic I would look for.

"When using dating apps, I would put my height in my personal biography to ween out the men who weren't interested.

"I went on one or two dates, with a guy taller than me, I wasn't pursued a lot and I blamed it on my height.

"Dating is harder for taller women, especially when you grow up as the tall one.

"I've always been a head taller than everyone. I looked different to my peers in class, my legs and arms were longer. I began to believe my height was holding me back.

"Boys are intimidated or don't want someone that is taller—I found it very hard to find someone."

Be Open-Minded

Banham admits her confidence was massively knocked by her height until she had a heart-to-heart with an old friend at the start of her college studies.

"A friend told me, it is going to be hard for me to find someone who is a good match for me with my specific requirement—he advised me to give everyone a shot," she said.

The same friend introduced Banham to Sorenson, now 23, and the pair immediately hit it off. However, she kept her guard up for six months.

"I liked him but I was the type of person who struggled to open up to guys because of the rejection growing up. I didn't want to like him in case he didn't like me. In a way, I didn't go there mentally in case I was too tall for him," she said.

Eventually, Banham came clean about her feelings and, it turns out that he liked her from the get-go too. Ever since, the couple have gone from strength to strength, and both encourage others to be open-minded when it comes to dating.

"In movies, women never look like me, they were always smaller than the men. I used to believe in order to be feminine you need to be shorter to make sure you don't overpower him.

"But I have learned that being taller doesn't matter. You can be tall, feminine, and beautiful with a shorter partner and he can still be manly, it doesn't have to look like the usual couple.

"I was feeling better about myself before I met Noah but being with him has boosted my confidence to a whole new level. I now would never change my height if I could and he has helped me accept who I am. So many people are trying to stand out but it has happened naturally for me."

The couple's height difference often turns heads in public and on social media. Using the TikTok handle @jemmaandnoah4ever, they often share videos showcasing how Banham's height can be used to Sorenson's advantage when completing household chores.

One clip has amassed over 600,000 views shows the moment Sorenson attempts to put a plate on the top shelf but fails. Seconds later, Banham puts it away without a struggle as she can also reach the ceiling when wearing heels, as demonstrated in another clip.

Worrying About Height May Be Hindering Your Dating Life

Sorenson told Newsweek that he has an "ego boost" when people are looking at them.

"I have always been very proud in public," he said. "A lot of people have an assumption that I can't handle her or think I must be wealthy to have her, but I find it funny. I am just a regular guy and we are in love.

"I think people have a problem with it because in their mind they have a checklist when it comes to dating, they are running around with a form trying to find a significant other, it's not a shopping list.

"You have to go with the flow and see what package your person comes with."

Sorenson admits he once had a "certain idea" of what his future partner should look like but once he let the idea go, he found Banham. He believes searching for certain characteristics can be "self-limiting." He encourages other men to broaden their horizons and never let height hold them back.

He said: "Be strong in your masculinity, if you feel confident as a man then you're not going to come across as short. It's all about your presence!"

Do Men Like Taller Women?

While Sorenson couldn't be more smitten, some men may not find it as easy to approach a taller woman.

A group of researchers from Poland and U.S. examined 2,000 personal dating ads provided by individuals enrolled in a public online dating site. They were able to report their own height as well as specify the tallest and the shortest height they desired for a potential partner.

The results found that 23 percent of men compared with only 4 percent of women would accept a dating relationship where the woman was taller.

They also discovered shorter and taller women preferred their potential dates to be around a similar height to themselves. But this "limited their potential dating pool," according to the study.

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