🎙️ Voice is AI-generated. Inconsistencies may occur.
A teen has been backed online for snapping at her parents for naming her after her dead sister.
Published to Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole forum, a teen under the username u/shallowthrowaways shared her story to receive opinions from the "AITA" community. The viral post has over 5,000 upvotes and 500 comments.
The original poster (OP) began her story by explaining that she used to have three older siblings: "John," "Julia" and "Jess." However, Jess passed away before the OP was born due to medical issues. John and Julia are twins who were seven at the time of Jess's passing.
The OP wrote, "My parents were distraught and when i was born i was named Jess, after my older dead sister. see the issue was that, being directly named after the dead daughter starts up problems. my older siblings refuse to all me by my name, they call me by my middle name or just don't refer to me at all — and as a kid i always wanted to be friends with them, but they're a good 7 years older and have apparently already bonded enough with the original Jess, that they don't really want to interact with me.
"My parents are even weirder, they put photos of original Jess on my birthday and look like they're about to cry whenever they say my name. they constantly bring up Jess, if i get a bad grade, they'll go on about how Jess would've done so much better, or if i said i was feeling sick they told me that i couldn't be as sick as Jess was and to stop 'faking it for attention' don't even get me started on my parents friends, because they just keep giving me weird looks. i cant live out the shadow of original Jess, which sounds horrible but honestly it's true," she continued.
Recently, her mother found a letter from the OP's old school, which used her middle name "Anna" instead of Jess, and caused her mother to get upset. She called the OP "ungrateful" and that she was "ruining her sister's image." The two got into an argument where the OP said she "hated" using the name Jess and how it was "stupid" naming her that. She snapped saying that she can't live in Jess's shadow any longer.
Most of her family and friends believe that she was in the wrong but enjoys having her sibling's approval on "what needed to be said."
The OP reassured readers that she loves her parents as they have done so much for her throughout her life.
Newsweek reached out to u/shallowthrowaways for comment.
What is the name change process in the United States?
Have you always wanted to change your name but don't know how? According to findlaw.com, apply to change your name by filling out the correct paperwork including a name change form and a decree to legally change your name. Next, take the forms to the court clerk and file them along with any state's filing required fees. A judge will then review your paperwork and will likely grant your name change.
Who should you notify about your name change? According to law firm Lynch and Owens P.C., be sure to update your social security information, get your driver's license updated, and call your bank or credit union that has your financial information. Other places that need to be notified include your employers and doctors.
A study has recently shown that your name changes how people judge your personality.
Redditor reactions
"[Not the a**hole] Not even a little bit. Honestly I think it's super twisted that they named you after her. They robbed you of your own identity because they hadn't processed their grief," u/CrystalQueen3000 wrote, receiving the top comment of over 9,000 upvotes.
"[Not the a**hole], why would anyone name their youngest kit after older late sibling? And what image does your late sister have? She died at 4, your parents are projecting unhealthily and robbing you of your own identity," u/Admiral_Gecko commented.
U/Sweet_Permission_700 replied, "As a mother who has lost a child, I can understand using that child's name as a middle name for a new baby the way we honor other relatives including those who have died. A first name? No one should have expected OP to go by that name."
"[Not the a**hole] you should have been harsher to be honest and said to her that is was sick of her to name another child Jess as though you were her replacement and that Jess is irreplaceable and you are your own unique person. The second you turn 18 legally change your name. Thats it," u/Big__Bang exclaimed.
"[Not the a**hole]. This whole situation is incredibly unfair to you, it sounds like your parents were hoping to raise you into a carbon copy of their dead daughter. It absolutely sucks that they have to deal with the loss of a child but that doesn't mean that they can ignore you as an individual. It might be worth trying to have a calm conversation with them? Explain your side of things and try to get them to understand that their behaviour is hurting you," u/Anxious_pagan commented.
About the writer
Ashley Gale is a Newsweek reporter based in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Her focus is reporting on trends. She has covered trends, ... Read more