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The internet has slammed a teen girl after a stepmother writes that she decides what she and her daughter can and can't do in a new viral post.
Published to Reddit's r/AmITheA**hole forum, a woman under the username u/outthewayrheo posed the question "AITA for taking my daughter to the restaurant my stepdaughter 'forbid' us from?" for the community to share their opinions if the was in the wrong. The post has 9,000 upvotes and 1,000 comments.
The original poster (OP) began her story by explaining that she and her husband, "Jeff," both have a child from a previous marriage. He has "Alicia," who is 16 years old and she has "Morgan," who is 12 years old.
Children witnessing their parents getting divorced is very common. According to owenbylaw.com, 50 percent of children will watch their parents go through a separation.
The OP explains that Alicia has never been close to her or Morgan as she is always upset about something.
"For example, when me and Morgan moved in with her and Jeff, she tried to control where we can & can't go. What areas I was allowed to redecorate and put my furniture in, what room Morgan got etc. Her excuse was that she wanted to keep the house how her mom left it as much as possible. Jeff asked us to be more patient and she'd come around eventually," she wrote.
"She did come around, but still tries to control other areas of mine and Morgan's life. I had a million conversation that ended up with her throwing a tantrum. Jeff talked to her and told her to not try to control what Morgan and I do, ever. And she agreed," she continued.
For Morgan's birthday, the OP allowed her to choose the restaurant that she wanted to celebrate her big day. The OP agreed at they will host the party there. However, when Alicia was told about the restaurant of Morgan's choosing, she got upset, claiming they can't have her party there as it would hurt the memories she had of her "perfect old family."
The OP confirmed in an edit that Alicia's mother is alive and her stepdaughter sees her every week.
She says she felt her stepdaughter's thoughts were "illogical and unreasonable." She explained to Alicia that she could stay home and not attend the party. She argued that it's the thought of her father, the OP and Morgan there "as a family" when it used to be her, her mom and dad.
"Jeff told me to tell Morgan to just pick another restuarant but I snapped and told him Alicia had no right to dictate where me and my daughter go and he shouldn't be encouraging her. He told me he wasn't encouraging anything, just trying to keep all parties satisfied," she said.
Jeff told her that if she stuck with the restaurant for the party, he will not attend. Angry at her husband's words, she stuck with Morgan's restaurant of choice and she wasn't going to change it just because they wanted her to. The OP, Morgan and OP's mom went.
"Morgan of course felt upset her stepdad missed her birthday celebration. when I pointed this out to him, he argued that I literally gained nothing by insisting on this particular restaurant and upseting Alicia (who is refusing to speak to any of us even him) and ruined his relationship with Morgan. I said it was Morgan's choice but he said I was the adult in this situation and have failed to navigate through it," she concluded.
The Reddit community was quick to defend the OP in the comments.
"Tell your husband he needs to be an adult and a parent and not let a 16 year old run his life. That being said, is Alicia seeing a counselor at all? If not, it sounds like she could really benefit from some professional help. [Not the A**hole]," u/mdthomas received the top comment with over 15,000 upvotes.
U/Disobedientavocado1 wrote, "[Not the A**hole]- why does this hormonal 16 year old child have more say in your marriage than you do? This is absolutely ridiculous. Alicia needs to get into therapy, Jeff should join. I understand Alicia's feelings, but that does not give her the right to have that much control."
"[Not the A**hole]. Alicia is on a power trip and trying to exert control over you and Morgan. The idea that she should be able to dictate what restaurant you and Morgan go to on Morgan's birthday is laughable, to say the least," u/chapsteve711 explained, "You were right to not give in to Alicia; her demands would only escalate if you had."
"[Not the A**hole]. We do not negotiate with emotional terrorists," u/notherbastard exclaimed.
U/Trin_42 wrote, "[Not the A**hole], your husband is tho, for allowing his daughter to be a drama queen and dictator of your lives. You've already given her grace when you first moved in and your [significant other] still expects you to continue to let her be a tyrant towards you. Die on that hill honey, and good luck!"
About the writer
Ashley Gale is a Newsweek reporter based in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Her focus is reporting on trends. She has covered trends, ... Read more