Sibling Called Out for Complaining About $25 Thanksgiving Contribution

An anonymous Redditor has been called out by the Internet after complaining about her family's mandatory $25 Thanksgiving dinner contribution.

Thanksgiving and Christmas can bring out the best and worst in families, and with inflation still notably high, many Americans are dealing with unprecedented drama over the best way to divide up the expenses for the holidays.

One Redditor took to the Am I The A**hole community to pose a query on her objection to her family's new Thanksgiving rule: pay up or stay out.

The Reddit user shared that their oldest sister decided to host the family Thanksgiving but is now asking for a $25 donation for her to buy and cook all the food.

The user said her objections are related to several issues. Firstly, the user is vegetarian and has dietary restrictions, and therefore prefers to prepare their own food.

"She is also notably the worst cook out of all of us (5 total siblings)," the user added on the post. "Why should I have to send her money anyway for Thanksgiving? I've always thought the whole point of Thanksgiving is to bring food and share with everyone."

The feedback on the Internet was not necessarily on the user's side, however.

"YTA and it's Thanksgiving," one user responded. "If you aren't going to eat a single thing don't send money and don't come. If you don't like it feel free to host next year."

The original Thanksgiving money complainer came back and expressed their frustration with the $25 fee, which they saw as in opposition to what the spirit of Thanksgiving is supposed to be about.

"I've never heard of anyone having to send money for thanksgiving," they wrote. "It's about GIVING. Everyone usually pitches in and brings food. Isn't that the point? It's easier that way than one person demanding to cook. For context she never asked, just said send me money and I'll cook? Why would one person cook everything?"

But this did little to convince the strangers on the Internet.

"No, that's not the point," one wrote back. "The point is for family to spend time together. If it's less stressful for people to give money to the host, that's what you should do, and plenty of people do it that way. Either way if you don't like it you aren't required to go."

Yet another chimed in: "YTA maybe she has a special menu planned. Bring your own food or don't attend if you like. $25 isn't a lot of money. I can't tell if you don't like your sister or just do like to cause problems. Doing things differently might work out."

How To Avoid Money Conflict This Thanksgiving

It's undeniable that the holiday season can bring out additional financial stressors across all families, no matter their incomes. Currently, inflation is set at 3.7 percent and groceries, gas and housing costs are still at extreme highs. Due to this, many Americans are feeling the pinch ahead of Thanksgiving.

For the family fighting over the $25 Thanksgiving fee, it seems to be a mismatch of communication, a family therapist says.

"I don't think neither the one asking for $25 nor the sibling against paying is wrong per se," Kayla Crane, marriage family therapist at South Denver Therapy, told Newsweek. "They're just coming at it from their own corners. The trick is to chat about it beforehand, setting clear expectations on budgets and acknowledging everyone's needs, especially with something as personal as food and money."

"Compromise is king in these scenarios," she added. "Maybe the host could tweak the menu a bit to make everyone happy without breaking the bank. After all, Thanksgiving and Christmas should be more about togetherness than who pays for the turkey or how it's cooked."

In many cases, you should avoid downright expecting a contribution if you're hosting because you might not be aware of everyone's financial limitations.

"It is always okay to ask for people to pitch in by making it a potluck," Christine Scott-Hudson, a licensed psychotherapist in Santa Barbara, California, told Newsweek. "However, it is not ok to expect people to pitch in financially. You can make the request and ask for people to pitch in to the grocery fund, or to bring a side dish. You can always make a request, just make sure you can live with the answer. The answer might be 'no.'"

When it comes to contributing to the Thanksgiving dinner or setting budget expectations for Christmas gifts, there are plenty of strategies you can implement to avoid the holiday hassle of fighting with a family member.

If your family is adopting a potluck-style Thanksgiving this year, you can easily curb down your out-of-pocket costs by using store promotions, coupons and rebate apps, according to Melissa Cid, a consumer savings expert for MySavings.com.

"Choose a dish with ingredients that are on sale," Cid told Newsweek. "From now until Christmas, grocery stores are running money-saving promotions on many popular food products for get-togethers."

You can also take on the strategy of specifically outlining holiday financial expectations each year, mandating that everyone spends what they can afford while taking care of those who need a bit more help during the holiday season.

"In my family, the rule is that those with the most financial stability either host or at least shoulder the bulk of the expenses for hosting," Carter Seuthe, the CEO of Credit Summit Debt Consolidation, told Newsweek. "It's never really a problem if someone mentions they're having a tougher year financially and won't be able to host or contribute much in terms of food or gifts."

"This is generally what I would recommend for families or friend groups facing down this type of issue. It's okay for things to feel uneven, and if people are dissatisfied with splitting costs unevenly, it's also okay to bring the budget down to where the lowest earner feels comfortable contributing."

Philadelphia-based mental health therapist Noam Dinovitz said financial disagreements abound during the holidays, and with inflation where it is today, this year could have plenty more fights in store.

"One of the keys to combating these types of arguments is transparency and proactive conversation," Dinovitz told Newsweek. "That can look like having an open, honest conversation with family members about what their expectations are as well as sharing your own well before the holiday gets here. It's not always the most fun conversation, but it's important not to be scared to talk actual numbers so that nothing gets lost in translation."

Compromise this holiday season is essential, and Dinovitz said sentimental value may likely be more important than just financial.

"Consider ways to swap spending with something that is meaningful that might not cost as much," Dinovitz said. "At the end of the day, most of us are looking to create good memories and good times with the people we love rather than meet a specific spending threshold."

After Thanksgiving, even more financial challenges are underway for Americans as they attempt to set spending expectations for themselves and their loved ones' Christmas gifts.

Nearly one in three people said they feel pressured to overspend on their significant other this holiday season, according to financial services company Bread Financial.

More men (41 percent) are feeling this pressure compared to just 26 percent of women, but twice as many men (31 percent) said they expect extravagant gifts when compared to women (15 percent).

"Thanksgiving is about giving thanks, spending time with family, and eating delicious food," Ranesha Especto, a licensed professional counselor at Thriveworks, told Newsweek. "Consider this bigger picture when thinking about the $25 contribution, rather than ensuring you get bang for your buck."

"If the amount is a struggle for you to pay right now, this could be another opportunity for transparency with your sister."