TikTok's Swinger Community Is Burning With Divorce Drama

TikTok's niche of swingers was rattled by drama between two couples—one of which claims to have kickstarted the platform's swinging trend—whose very public marriage breakdowns have attracted hordes of internet onlookers.

SwingTok is an active community of swingers, or married couples who involve other people in their sex life. This side of TikTok posts adult-themed memes for like-minded people and makes heavy use of upside-down pineapple imagery, a symbol for swingers.

Videos posted to TikTok's #SwingTok hashtag alone have racked up 1.5 billion views. Other tags have also attracted substantial view counts, including #swingerslifestyle (908 million) and #swingers (753 million).

Michigan-based couple Mark and Krystina Bolin were prominent SwingTok influencers. The Bolins were married for 16 years and have two teenage children who they say are aware and accepting of their parents' lifestyle.

"I am the person that started SwingTok, I am the one that made SwingTok trend back in February of 2021 and paved the way for all these people," Krystina Bolin told Newsweek.

"That's what I wanted, I wanted us all to be able to come out of the shadows and say, 'Hey, we're swingers and we're sick of hiding in the shadows.'

"And now, everybody turned on me."

In August 2021, the Bolins were involved with another swinger couple named Matt and Misty, whose last names are not public. The four soon began a polyamorous relationship and started posting swinger-themed content together as "KM3."

But this month, both couples initiated divorce proceedings so as to swap partners. Krystina Bolin paired up with Matt, while Mark Bolin is dating Misty.

Krystina Bolin told Newsweek the news spiraled out of control online when a former employee who had been "stalking" and "harassing" her leaked the Bolins' divorce papers before they were ready to announce their separation.

Dubbed "KM3 chaos," the drama saw very public developments chronicled by prolific social media posts and live broadcasts from all parties.

Users across a host of platforms soon became invested in the couples' personal lives, with many dissecting their relationship dynamics and taking sides. Facebook groups dedicated to discussing the "KM3 chaos" racked up members in the thousands.

People who practice ethical non-monogamy—which includes swinging and polyamory—criticized the four for reportedly engaging in their relationships improperly and further stigmatizing the community.

Krystina Bolin said marriage breakdowns and permanent partner-swapping are very common in the swinger community, realities she believes SwingTok attempts to gloss over.

"For SwingTok to misrepresent our community and act like this doesn't happen, they are doing a disservice to the swinging community," she told Newsweek.

"Because why are we trying to glamorize the swinging community like it's this perfect community when it's absolutely not?

"There's nothing in this world that is perfect."

A number of TikTok users were introduced to SwingTok by way of KM3's collapse. In a video viewed over 417,000 times, TikToker @lizdamyl responded to a prompt asking about "one side of TikTok you're not supposed to be on but you just stay on."

"I'm on the swinger side of TikTok and things are getting crazy," @lizdamyl said, before explaining the drama to her 90,000 followers.

The issue also spurred serious backlash and harassment against those involved and their family members, including unverified allegations of stolen valor against Matt, who said he is a Marine combat veteran.

Krystina Bolin, who makes her income from OnlyFans, saw her explicit subscribers-only content leaked. In a TikTok live, Bolin said she enlisted the help of a private investigator to track down her harassers, as well as notified OnlyFans and the FBI.

She later said the FBI and law enforcement did not pick her case up.

Bolin told Newsweek other leaks included her home address, social security number, credit score, and photos of her children. She said someone uncovered her conservative father's cell phone number and sent him pornographic videos from her OnlyFans account.

Krystina Bolin said the vitriol primarily emerged from within the SwingTok community, abetted by personal acquaintances who turned against her.

"It's affecting my mental health and honestly making me a bit suicidal," she said. "It's been very, very difficult."

Krystina Bolin and Matt's TikTok accounts were taken down, though Mark Bolin and Misty remain on the platform.

Newsweek has contacted Mark Bolin for comment, but was unable to reach Misty. Matt declined to comment.

Krystina Bolin told Newsweek both couples are working through their divorces "very amicably."

"We just had lunch with them just a half an hour ago and our kids, we had Easter with them," Bolin said, referring to Mark Bolin and Misty. "We all communicate amazing, we talk all the time, and basically we're just switching households."

Updated 04/28/22, 2:15 A.M. ET: This article was updated with comments from Krystina Bolin.