Parent Offering 'No Sympathy' to Son for Spending His College Money Dragged

A mom has admitted having "no sympathy" for her son, who is going through a tough time with an ex-girlfriend.

In a lengthy post shared to the popular discussion site Mumsnet, user chucklesatwork, explained her 17-year-old son has been involved in a complicated relationship. She told other users the ex-girlfriend "constantly blocks and unblocks" him.

She said: "My son really likes her so he won't block her and every time she unblocks him, he thinks this time they'll get back together.

She goes on to explain she puts $85 (£80) in his account monthly for food and transport to college. But this month, he asked for more money.

She said: "I asked him why, as I only put some in a few weeks ago so he should have some left, and after a lot of 'I don't knows' he told me his ex asked for £50 and he gave it to her and they spoke for a bit until a few days later she asked for more and he said he didn't have it, and she blocked him a few days after that."

"I have no sympathy for him as he knows this money is for college but my darling partner who isn't his dad has said I'm being unreasonable as my son is upset and he has an attention deficit hyperactive disorder (ADHD) which makes him more vulnerable."

Another user has pointed out that those with ADHD have a hard time dealing with rejection, the comment said: "It can be quite common that people with ADHD have difficulty around rejection sensitivity. If this is the case for your son, then his ex constantly blocking and unblocking, may be very triggering and he is constantly having to go through the rejection every time she blocks him again.

"He's been coerced into giving her money, likely in the hope of reigniting the relationship, whether she said anything or not, it doesn't matter, he is likely to have thought it."

It turns out the Mumsnet user is right. WebMD, an American online publisher, explains ADHD makes it harder to focus, pay attention, and sit still. Most people with ADHD are also very sensitive to what others think or say about them. This is sometimes called rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD), which is not a medical diagnosis, but a way of describing certain symptoms associated with ADHD.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has revealed millions of American children have been diagnosed with ADHD. Using data from 2016 to 2019, the national public health agency discovered that 3.3 million children aged 12 to 17 were diagnosed with the condition.

Over 140 people have commented, and they are all saying generally the same thing.

One said: "I really feel for your darling son, being manipulated like that at such a young age and with ADHD he is potentially vulnerable. Yes, I would be sympathetic to your son and have a word with her parents about her behavior.

"I'd make sure my son has a bus pass and food for college and have a conversation with him about this situation and how it's not right to take advantage of people the way he's been taken advantage of, and support him in moving on."

"Wow. You have no sympathy for him? What's wrong with you? Sorry, but I feel so strongly about this, he's obviously in love with someone who is manipulating him and frankly abusing him and he's only 17 and doing everything he can to hang on to her.

"And you have no sympathy for him? Hmm wonder why he was attracted to her personality in the first place. Poor boy," said another.

While another wrote: "You need to shape up and be his mum, not parrot 'I've no sympathy for you' like a supercilious 1980s primary school teacher. You can support him and give him the love and counsel he needs without condoning unhealthy behavior. What do you think he learns from being told that his mum has no sympathy for him."

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.