'Well Paid' Woman Jealous of Mom Funding Sibling's Vacation Slammed

A 2021 survey of 2,000 adults found that 51 percent of siblings have a competitive relationship with one another, with points of tension including careers, parenting, home ownership, and even who is the 'family favorite.'

And now one mom has shared her upset over her adult daughter's sibling rivalry, via a viral post on the popular discussion site Mumsnet.

The user AuntMargo shared the story on October 3, and it has since received more than 300 replies.

She wrote: "I have two girls, one is in a relationship with her partner who has a well-paid job of around £70k ($79k) and she ears around £40k ($45k). They have two children [and] own two properties. They have a good lifestyle."

"My second girl is a single mother," she explained. "She has a part-time job, claims benefits, and rents. She was never as clever as the eldest and had a bad coercive controlled relationship several years ago and she is still suffering the insecurities from that."

The parent shared that she wants to go on a big family holiday, but it would mean paying for the daughter who is a single mom. When she revealed this, her eldest daughter said that she should pay the equivalent for her family, too.

"Her response was, 'Why should I be penalized because we have good jobs?'" explained the poster. "They earn more than me and my husband, I would pay for the holiday out of my savings. I think she is being incredibly selfish as I cannot afford to pay for both."

Alongside the holiday upset, the poster explained there have been other incidents over the years, including when her eldest daughter would show resentment and jealousy because she looks after the single mom's child more often.

Frustrated with the situation, the mom asked the internet: "Am I being unreasonable to tell my daughter she is selfish and being greedy?"

Award-winning author, broadcaster, and psychologist Dr. Audrey Tang told Newsweek: "All animals have a sense of fairness—dogs and monkeys, for example, have been shown in research to 'act up' if they perceive that another dog is receiving more than them."

"Competition [between siblings] may be fuelled—even unintentionally—by family members and friends (and even schools), perhaps one child is more receptive to gifts, or perhaps their talents are ones which can be 'performed', and sometimes, depending on the behavior of the older child, there can be an expectation placed on the younger one.

"If a child feels a sense of unfairness, it is also possible that this may carry through to adulthood and they begin to look for examples to validate their feelings, but unfortunately they may also act in ways which can then produce certain behaviors or attitudes from the family."

Rushing to share reactions and responses, other Mumsnet users shared their thoughts in the comments of the viral thread.

One user wrote: "I'd be utterly ashamed of her selfish attitude if I was her mom. I'd also remind her that if anything drastically changes in her life, she could be in exactly the same position as her sister."

But another Mumsnet user said: "I can see where she's coming from. I doubt she actually wants you to pay, it's more that any and all support seems to be offered to her sister."

With only the information in the post to work with, Tang offered some superficial observations on the sister's case: "What I can see is that in the mind of the higher earning sibling it can look or even feel like the parents are 'favouring' and far more unpacking of the situation needs to be done."

Reflecting on the online discussion, Tang suggested that there is likely more to this story: "In this case, the first question I would want to as is why does the elder sibling feel so strongly that her parents need to extend the same finances despite knowing she and her husband earn more?" she said: "To me, this is not just about money."

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.