Widow Praised for Stopping Wife's Parents From Seeing Her Son: 'Battle'

A woman has been praised online after admitting to banning her son from seeing his grandparents, sticking to the wishes of her late wife.

Research by sociologist Karl Pillemer suggests that one in four American adults have become estranged from their families. The late wife, named Em in the popular post, is one of those.

According to the anonymous woman, who took her dilemma to Subreddit "Am I the A**hole", the wife was not accepted by her family due to her sexuality. Because of this, Em had no contact with her family since the age of 17.

Two years ago, Em passed away but had made it clear beforehand that she did not want her parents in their son's life. The son is the biological child of the poster.

"When we had our son, Em told me she didn't want her parents to know anything about our child, even through the grapevine. She had let her mom and dad know that we were getting married a few years prior, but they didn't respond very well to the news so she didn't think they would change their tune. If they did ever manage to hear about our son's birth, they never contacted us to say anything about it," the woman wrote, in a post with over 6,000 votes.

After Em's death, her parents did not attend the funeral despite being invited. It was radio silence for two years, until the woman received a social media message just weeks ago from Em's mother, requesting to find out more about her and her son.

"I agreed to meet them to talk, but I left my son at home with my sister. They looked a little disappointed when I got there and he wasn't with me, but they didn't say anything about that at first. They started off with a few normal questions, how we met, what Em's life was like, what our wedding was like. Then they started asking about when they could spend time with our son because they had a right to as his grandparents. I told them that my wife had made it very clear that she didn't want them to know anything about our baby," she wrote.

The woman agreed to think about whether the grandparents could see the child, but added that she felt guilty even meeting them against Em's wishes. After a brief disagreement with the grandparents, she said she would "contact them again when I made my decision."

Despite her own hesitations, and her sister's opinion that she should allow them to see the child as they could be changed people, the woman decided against it, citing Em's wants as the reason. It was also thanks to a wave of Reddit users encouraging the decisions in comments left on her original post.

"I contacted Em's mother to inform her that because our son is biologically mine, they don't maintain any legal 'right' to see him, and I'm not interested in starting some unnecessary battle either. I also said that Em made it very clear when she was still here that she didn't want our son to know them.

"She responded and said that she understood why Em made such a firm decision, because she and her husband did things that they could never take back or make up for. She told me she regretted every choice she'd ever made to make her daughter feel as though she wasn't loved. She also said that Em's dad was the one who made the decision for them to not attend the funeral."

After sharing the updated decision online in a second post with over 7,000 votes, Reddit users once again supported the mother and her final decision.

"You did the right thing. It's incredibly sad that Em couldn't hear the apologies from her mother. Never wait to apologize because tomorrow is not a given," wrote one user.

"You made a very difficult decision but I think you made the right one. I didn't even know Em and it breaks my heart that she isn't the one receiving these apologies but I think her mom doing the next best thing by apologizing to you and your shared child was very classy," added another.

Other Reddit users expressed sadness around the situation, writing: "Tragedy all around. But I think you did good. Em was lucky to have you."

Newsweek reached out to u/planetvenus_ for comment. We could not verify the details of the case