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Internet commenters advised one woman to reevaluate her relationship—or lack thereof—after her husband skipped out on the couple's 27th wedding anniversary.
In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA**hole, a Redditor who has since deleted their account (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) detailed previous issues within her marriage and revealed how her husband's behavior has driven an even larger wedge between the two.
Titled, "[Am I the a**hole?] My husband went out to dinner on our anniversary without me and I got angry at him," the post has received more than 4,000 upvotes in the last day.
"My husband and I have been married for 27 years," OP began. "We have had our ups and downs, but we have [two] kids and have spent a life together."
Continuing to explain that her husband "lives his own life," the original poster said she never knows when he will return home from work and is routinely left out of his plans.
Still, the original poster said that with their 27th anniversary on the docket, she thought they'd dine together in celebration.
But that wasn't the case.
"We hadn't made plans but I came home straight from work figuring we would at least eat dinner together," OP wrote. "He came home at 10pm and proceeded to tell me what a great night he had.
"He went to dinner at a restaurant in our hometown [that] his friend owns, ran into several friends of ours...[he] had a great night, alone," OP continued. "I was so hurt.
"I told him what an [a**hole] he was for going out on our anniversary without me. He claimed I was crazy [because] we hadn't made plans" OP added. "I felt like he was gaslighting me, which he often does."
A couple's wedding anniversary is just as important as the day they were married, according to Bouqs, a website dedicated to finding sustainably-sourced wedding flowers.
"[Anniversaries] give us a chance to reflect on one of the most important days of our lives, recommit to our vows [and] provide a time to appreciate all the joyous things life has given," Bouqs asserts. "Anniversaries are important for couples to maintain the bond they share."
Anniversary celebrations look different for every married couple.
While some couples relish a simple dinner and relaxing evening, others opt for more extravagant affairs, including gifts and experiences based on traditional lists and expectations.
For a first wedding anniversary, Hallmark encourages gifts made from paper. Then cotton, then leather, then fruit or flowers, then wood for a fifth anniversary.
For a 27th anniversary, a musical gift is in order, and can come in the form of a sentimental playlist with notes about song meanings or concert tickets to a partner's favorite act.
However, no matter what an esteemed brand like Hallmark recommends, any suggestion is rendered useless when one partner pays no mind to their anniversary—or the partner they should have celebrated it with.
Throughout the comment section of the viral Reddit post, Redditors echoed this sentiment and questioned how much longer the original poster will weather her husband's alarming apathy.
"Who gets married to live their own life?" Redditor u/geranium27 exclaimed in the post's top comment, which has received more than 10,000 upvotes. "Forgive me, but isn't the point of marriage to share a life...?"
"That question alone if one of the reasons my ex is now my ex," Redditor u/ExplanationNo6063 added, receiving more than 2,500 upvotes.
Redditor u/Major_Barnacle_2212, whose comment has received nearly 4,000 upvotes, defended the original poster for being upset after her husband blew off their 27th wedding anniversary, but said OP is partially to blame for her anger.
"[Not the a**hole] for being upset," they wrote. "[But] you're an [a**hole] for putting up with this for 27 years and letting your kids see his behavior as a relationship model."
"[Not the a**hole]," Redditor u/SnooOwls1153 chimed in. "But it sounds as if your husband is living his life without you.
"Is this what you want? Being married but living [separate] lives? Even when you live in the same house?" they continued. "You also stated that he gaslights you. Don't you know you deserve better?"
About the writer
Taylor McCloud is a Newsweek staff writer based in California. His focus is reporting on trending and viral topics. Taylor ... Read more