Woman Forcing Husband to Sign 'a Contract' Before Lending Him Money Praised

A woman who refused to allow her husband to borrow a large sum of money from her without having him sign a contract has been backed by users on Reddit.

In a viral post shared on Reddit's Am I the A**hole (AITA) subforum under the username Throwaway5253541, the wife said her husband "asked to borrow 14k."

She wrote, "I tried asking him what he needed the money for but he said it was none of my business, then insisted that he'll return it asap [as soon as possible]."

According to a January 2022 survey by U.S. News & World Report, about a third of couples surveyed (30 percent) have had "financial infidelity"—when a partner hides or withholds information about a money-related decision—in their relationship.

The top three types of financial infidelity reported by those surveyed were secret purchases (about 31 percent), the hiding of debt or accounts (nearly 29 percent) and lying about income (about 23 percent).

The survey found that the top reasons for committing financial infidelity were avoiding an argument (38 percent), embarrassment about mishandling money (about 23 percent) and wanting to feel more in control financially (about 16 percent).

In a SunTrust Bank survey conducted online by Harris Poll, the U.S. market research company, just over a third (35 percent) of those surveyed blamed finances for the stress they experience in their relationship.

A January 2022 report by National Debt Relief, a debt settlement company, found that 3 in 5 Americans have "considered putting off marriage to avoid inheriting their partner's debt." Fifty-four percent said that "having a partner who is in debt is a major reason to consider divorce."

The user in the Reddit post agreed to lend her husband the money on the condition that "he sign a contract stating he'll return the money in full."

Acting "all shocked and offended," the husband allegedly said the wife "should be ashamed for involving courts and lawyers between family." He later called her "f***ing useless" and "stormed off to spend the night with/at God knows who!"

The user said her husband of two years was married twice before and has six children. She alleged that his bank account is "always almost empty," whereas her account has "over 20k" in it and the couple "take turns paying for daily expenses and stuff."

She pointed to her husband's "struggling with money" lately and said he has borrowed from a number of people, including "about 4k" from his wife's brother.

The user said: "He just seemed desperate for money. I asked what the deal was and he said that he needed the money for the kids which seemed fishy since kids don't really need that much money for their expenses. The eldest is 16!!!!!.

According to the wife, "He kept ranting about how I'm refusing to help and making the situation more difficult for him instead of co-operating...AITA for standing my ground with this condition?"

Several Redditors sided with the original poster.

In a comment that got over 25,000 upvotes, user Justagirleatingcake said the user was "NTA [not the a**hole]," adding, "This sounds like addict behaviour. Is he a gambler? If it was drugs he'd be asking for smaller amounts more often but this sounds like gambling debt."

In a comment that got 11,400 upvotes, user baabaaredsheep said: "He 'insisted that he'll return it asap'. Sounds like he's counting on that big win. Op [original poster] is NTA for sure. I hope she had a prenup. Husband needs help."

In a comment that received over 8,600 upvotes, user cli_spi said: "If you could return that much money asap, you wouldn't need it in the first place. You would be open and honest about your timeframe for repaying it. This is absolutely a gambling debt."

User EmeraldBlueZen, who said they are a lawyer, wrote: "OP has $20k in the bank and is willing to give her financially irresponsible hubby $14k if he agrees to sign a piece of paper? Whether he signs a contract or not, there is no way she's getting the money back,' in a comment that got 1,500 upvotes.

Newsweek has contacted the original poster for comment.