Wife Praised for Installing Gate To Stop 'Intrusive' Mom-in-Law Dropping By

A woman who took the extreme step of installing a "huge" gate at the side of her home to curtail her mother-in-law's unscheduled visits has won the backing of the internet.

Family relationships can be complicated, especially when it comes to in-laws. This phenomenon was highlighted in a study of 373 married couples conducted by Dr. Terri Orbuch, a psychologist and research professor at the University of Michigan's Institute for Social Research.

As part of the research, couples were asked to rate how close they felt to their in-laws, on a scale of one to four, with these relationships then tracked over an extended period of time.

Dr. Orbuch discovered that men who reported having a close relationship with their wife's parents were 20 percent less likely to divorce. However, the women who reported a close relationship with their husbands' parents were found to be 20 percent more likely to divorce.

The researcher theorized that while close ties between a husband and his wife's parents were "reinforcing to women" and helped their partner to "connect" better with them, it was a different story for women and their in-laws.

"If women are close to their in-laws, especially early in marriage, this interferes with or prevents them from forming a unified and strong bond with their husband," she told CNN. "Also, since women are constantly analyzing and trying to improve their relationships, they often take what their in-laws say as personal and can't set the clear boundaries."

One woman struggling to set boundaries in every sense of the word recently took to Mumsnet to vent her frustrations.

According to a post shared under the handle katrizia127, her husband's mom had been making a habit of turning up at their house "unannounced and uninvited" at around 8:15 a.m. on any given workday morning.

The woman explained that although it is "the norm" in her husband's family for them to "just pop round" to visit each other's houses at any given time, she finds the practice, at best, difficult, and at worst completely intrusive.

"I'm a very private person and quite introverted so I need time to prepare myself mentally for any extended visits or socializing," she explained.

When the woman and her husband tried to explain to his mom that it would be necessary for her to text or call before coming round, she simply told them"I don't need to ask, I'm your mom!"

The situation escalated recently after the couple decided to install a "huge side gate" on account of her mom-in-law's habit of "coming round the back and knocking on the lounge windows" if they don't answer the door.

According to the woman, there have been times when her husband's mother has even "let herself in" when they have had guests. "I just find it so intrusive, rude and socially inept but it doesn't seem to be sinking in with her," the exasperated wife wrote.

At her wits' end, the woman turned to social media for support and found it in abundance, with the vast majority slamming her mom-in-law's invasive behavior.

Lsquiggles branded her antics "awful and very entitled," while HollyDayDream urged the woman to "be frank" with her husband's mom. "If it still doesn't sink in and she continues to come over each morning, you will need to be firmer," they said. "Stand at the door and tell her simply it's not a good time."

EnterFunnyNameHere suggested an alternative course of action. "Lock the side gate and door so she is not able to just walk in, and then ignore her on days she just turns up," they wrote. "Don't answer the door and don't pick up the phone."

Sexnotgender proposed a similarly firm approach. "You need to ignore her and get on with your day," they commented. "Every time she arrives, say your husband will speak to you I'm just going out/going for a shower etc."

Mally100, meanwhile felt it was time to fight fire with fire. "You need to be blunt and rude," they said. "People like this don't deserve politeness because they are disrespectful to you. If she's being told not to come, then when she does turn up confront her and ask her what is it that she doesn't understand?"

Newsweek has contacted katrizia127 for comment.