Spouse Losing 'Respect' for Husband Due to Low Paid Job Dragged

A woman who has taken to Mumsnet to complain about her husband's "lack of career" has been criticized by users. With 60 percent in saying the wife is being unreasonable, the comments were predominantly critical as the wife writes, "We're in our 40s now and although I don't have an amazing career myself, I have been a sahp [stay-at-home parent] and done the lions share of child rearing and running the household whilst do [sic] has been working ft."

She goes on to explain how she works part-time and "only started working 5 years ago in which time I have changed several jobs each with a bit more pay. DH has been working for over 25 years and is still earning pretty low £28,000. He's rejected any chance of promotion citing he doesn't want to manage anyone. It's been two people at most! He's had opportunity to gain qualifications paid for by employer which would enable him to apply for better jobs."

She says he just moves sideways rather than seeking out higher-paid positions, comparing their situation to acquaintances "who are similar in age and their DPs have flourished in their careers...As a result they all have better quality of lives, better homes, don't have money worries like we have always had. Some of their wives have even had the luxury to leave their jobs. I know it all sounds a bit 1950s and all that but we agreed that he would work as his job has better earning potential and I would do the main childrearing."

Online publication The Good Men Project says that respect is a key element of a healthy relationship, "The problem with lack of ambition in one partner is that it can lead to a lack of respect from the other. This can become a huge issue. If your partner is lazy, or not contributing financially, there is definitely cause for concern. However, if they work, contribute, and consider themselves successful, then the problem may be with your expectations instead.

"Either way, if you are unable to respect your partner and their life choices, then there's problem that needs to be addressed." The site goes on to suggest that if your partner is happy, why would they want to drastically change anything? "Nor should you expect them to. Changing their approach to life just to make you happy, or as a requirement for having a relationship with you won't work and you'll both end up resentful and unhappy."

User Darkness22 commented, "For me it would be the fact that he'd turned down opportunities that would put me off. Nothing wrong with any job on any salary."

Dotcheck wrote, "Do people really think the OP's husband was 'supporting her lifestyle'?
She's been raising kids. Most couples decide what compromise they want to take as a family."

User coodawoodashooda commented, "I'd leave him then drive my career forward and enjoy the fruits of my labour. If you boost your career now he'll be entitled to the extra money. It's unlikely your resentment is going to disappear."

Newsweek was not able to verify the details of the case.